So why am I getting in trouble for not doing my homework when she didn’t either? That’s not fair…
So officer, did you see the 10 other cars zooming by and they were probably going 10 x's faster than I was. How come I was the only one stopped?
My son had a long night at McDonald’s doing the night shift and he needs a little time to hand in his assignment before the semester is over… I’ve heard from other people that you should cut him a break because many students in other classes have professors that give breaks; why not you?
2 boys break a glass emergency door; wasn’t done on purpose but was broken nonetheless. Both families had the same option to pay. One did and the other family came in and said essentially, “what about the other family and are they getting the same consequence as we are or are you picking on us?"
We have people in the political, media realms who, when caught use all sorts of excuses and reasons and many times when put into a corner because of whatever it is they’ve done, use all sorts of “What Abouts” for their behavior and actions…
And the beat goes on.
I work in the education field and it is clear that unfortunately, one of the traits that I see and encounter constantly is the “What Abouts”…
No one can seem to want to take responsibility for their actions.
There is this great commercial with all sorts of kids who make messes of all kinds and when they are asked who did it, (their faces, hands, bodies tell the story) they all say it wasn’t me!! And while cute for the commercial, it underlines the fact there is this propensity to not want to take responsibility for our actions even when it is clear that we need to.
Or how about the person who is always angry about something or someone and it’s never their fault because somebody or something made them “Do It” or say “That’s The Way I Am” because of said situation…. But Sooner or Later…………..
When adults are rolling in the “What Abouts”, it’s hard not to think that the generations below us would do the same.
There are some simple yet proven antidotes to the "What Abouts".
Personal Responsibility
It’s about taking ownership of our own behavior and the consequences of that behavior. Until we accept responsibility for those actions or failures, it then becomes somewhat difficult to develop self-respect or even have the respect of others.
The truth is that most if not all human beings (young and old alike) make mistakes and poor choices. The same goes for when we fail to act when we know we should. There are times when we just blow it.
We won’t be the first and certainly not the last who has messed up in the personal behavior department from time to time.
The line between being responsible and being irresponsible presents when the opportunity to make a good or bad choice presents itself.
An aspect of a person’s character generally shows up in the accepting of responsibility, both personal and indirect responsibility.
We tend to get a clearer picture of where we are at and where people are at in these situations.
The “What Abouts” attitude may get us down the track for a while and we may not face consequences that have some bite for a time or season but the time will come when we will have to face the reality that “What Abouts” living has a shelf life.
The time will come when we will have to face the reality that “What Abouts” living has a shelf life.
Over time, failing to accept responsibility has consequences.
The inner person takes a hit because that type of living wears on us and… it wears on others.
Most people who have to deal with the “What About” types over time tolerate them as opposed to having genuine interaction with them.
Who wants to hang around with the “Angry What Abouts”?
Who wants to keep going the extra mile with the “Excuse Driven What Abouts”?
The truth is, taking responsibility for our own actions makes life work better. Self-respect is the worth or value we place on our life.
So then, a consequence of continuously failing to accept personal responsibility is that we are placing lesser value on our life and if we are doing that, then the people we encounter who have to deal with us will look at us in the same light. They may not say it out loud but they are just following our cue.
So, we’re going to make mistakes because as human beings; we will but we should honestly want to be become a better version of us.
In this day and age, we have this “truth” problem as the going lingo is “speak your truth” when in reality, we need to “Live In Truth” or better yet, work to “live with integrity”.
A man or woman can do what they ought to do; and when they says they cannot, it’s because they will not.
The Rewards of Accepting Responsibility
Growing Self-Respect…
There is personal growth when we accept responsibility for us. Positive character development flourishes and helps us personally and we feel better about us.
Growing the Respect of Others…
It never ceases to amaze me how the “What Abouts” demand and want others respect but do little to curry that favor. It makes a difference in how we are looked at and treated when we nurture in our lives the aspect of accepting personal responsibility.
Growth with the Power to Change…
Accepting responsibility actually gives the ability to make positive changes with our life. You can identify things that you want or need to do and place them on your list. Identifying needed
Accepting responsibility has always been about choices and they’re almost always our choices to make. Good choices generally bring about positive outcomes. “The What Abouts” doesn’t get us far in the end so…..
Owning and accepting responsibility for our own actions will ultimately determine the type of life we are and will lead. It will also determine how our interpersonal relationships will flourish or stagnate.
Everyone needs to work on losing the “What Abouts” for everyone’s sake!!
To better days...
Dave
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