I'm excited!!! I think and believe that when true change comes, the possibilities for greatness are endless!
How powerful are the thoughts we think and what comes out of us can be for good or negative.
Criticism always seems to be looking for a fertile place to grow and fertilize and if we can minimize, neutralize it's effects, everyone wins! From our homes, schools, businesses, connections, communities, when we are encouragers and exhort instead of being negative, the atmosphere does change.
Motivational Monday has a few more tips and ideas on taking a look at where we are, seeing if there are any changes that we have to make to be a Catalyst for change.
Some tried and true refreshers....
Criticizing creates some issues:
It’s Hurtful.
Don't you just hate the nagging, criticizing voice(s) who seems to focus on what everybody is doing wrong and doesn't seem to realize that it causes real damage to relationships.
Criticism makes for "Rusty" connection and communication.
It Doesn’t Work.
Criticism is a motivation killer.
Most criticizers seems to think that their negative voice is going to get their family, friends, co-workers, employees to change, but it doesn’t.
I remember a former manager ripping apart my 3 year prospectus plan (every year, I would submit a 3 year plan of where I thought we would be over a 3 year period) and I looked back later and realized that that day was the day that my dreams in that place began to die slowly but it started that afternoon.
I looked back later and realized that that day was the day that my dreams in that place began to die slowly but it started that afternoon.
There is another possible that reason criticism doesn’t work and it could because criticism does not address the potential deeper issues that we may be dealing within a relationship and/or inside of us.
My wife often says that what we say about others many times is a refection of what's going on inside of us.
It may very well be that criticizing others may be a reflection of internal anxiety, pain or issue we may be facing or not dealing with properly or at all.
It may be a way of trying to feel in control of something or someone that feels out of your control.
The More One Criticizes, The More Unhappy One Seems To Ge..
There’s an interesting phenomenon called the negativity bias.
It basically means that we tend to look for and focus on the problems more than the positives.
It also means that we are biased towards finding others faults and misdeeds. They are likely doing just as many, if not more, things that are great, but we seem to be prone to over emphasize the faults. So the more I criticize that guy for leaving file folders on the side of their desk that keep getting knocked off, the more the reinforced feeling of being irritated grows.
We may also be unhappy because we feel ashamed or guilty about our critical behaviors but struggle to change them.
Here are a few game changers to help us become Catalysts For Change.
Be Realistic.
If we are routinely disappointed by someone’s behavior, it’s probably time to to adjust our expectations. If we never shift or adjust, we're doomed to be continually frustrated.
My dad would often say, "Son, some people just don't have it; no matter what you may say or do, they just don't have it. Better to understand that than to be continually frustrated."
Look For The Positives.
It may seem contrived and not real at first but one of the best ways to get out of the habit of criticizing that I know of is to be begin to go out of our way to look for the good people are doing and acknowledge it often.
We have to start somewhere so just start, no matter where it is.
Research shows it takes five positive interactions to reverse the damage of one negative interaction.
Just when we feel like we just have to criticize or judge someone, have the power to say something nice instead.
We could even keep the compliment to our-self and simply think it.
But we would be surprised how much our relationships will improve if we would just speak kindness aloud more often.
There is power in the tongue so why not use it for good?
Even To Ourselves.....
Think about our positive attributes for a few minutes each day. Most often, criticizers do as much if not more damage to themselves with their own self defeating messages.
Most often, criticizers do as much if not more damage to themselves with their own self defeating messages.
So the next time we want to rip ourselves, stop when we start to speak negatively to and about ourselves. Say something positive instead.
Consider The Difference Between Giving Advice And Being Critical
Most advice is helpful and has a positive intention. Criticism has a negative intent and isn’t helpful.
Think carefully – what are our true intentions?
What are we honestly trying to accomplish?
Start The Day With A Thankful, Grateful Attitude
By getting day off to a better start, we're less likely to be critical not only of others but also to ourselves.
Sometimes, We Have To Allow Situations And People To Be As They Are
Sometimes, people get frustrated and complain and/or criticize is because of the belief that everything is supposed to be a certain way.
That's way too much pressure to be living under and while we could be right about some certain things, it's still a lot of pressure that we don't need on our minds and spirits.
While we might believe that others should thank us for a compliment or offer something in return for a good deed ie: giving up our seat on the bus, they might not feel that way.
While it could be nice for people to see things through our perspective, again, that's way too much pressure to be living under so ease up and we'll be less likely to be critical and miserable.
It does matter what we say and how we say it so Word Fast; we Fast Criticism!!
There are better ways to live and do life so let’s work towards those ideals and we can do it!
I feel lighter already!!
Dave
#MotivationalMonday #WordFast #Criticism #CatalystChange #Influence #Blog #Speaker #SpeakLife #NoMoreNegativeMessaging #Encourage #Exhort #Unifier #WordsMatter
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