So Christmas conjures up lots of family memories… Mom’s preparations over the 2 plus weeks leading up to Christmas, dad prepping the cakes for weeks with soaking fruit for the fruit cake, our Charlie Brown Christmas tree and it all leads me to remember that family was and is so important, not only during the holidays but all year round.
Forward Friday is a celebration of family and what it means to me.
For some, the family matters idea is hard to conceive because of the broken places we may have experienced but read through to the end; there’s always Good News!!!!
So, Let’s Get Into This!!!
While we had our moments as any family does, our family was fun and warm. Especially at Christmas….
Mom would cook up a storm and the smells would live on for days after. Dad would be the baker man who had people ordering his cakes weeks in advance of the holidays and Easter.
I can still see his cakes cooling on the wire racks and if food was/is a love language, they were the classic representatives of love through food.
We would always try and take a peek at what was under the tree Christmas Eve before we went to bed; trying to get a handle on the possibilities but somehow, Mom always knew when we would try and she’d cut us off at the pass.
We never had Christmas alone after I turned 7; we always had the lonely person, the student(s) away from home, the stranger at our Christmas dinner and I think it really has helped me to see people.
Now that may sound strange but thinking about it, it’s almost like we were conditioned from an early age not to take relationships for granted.
I’ve been blessed to have a great brother and friend in Keith; the combination is rare these days…..
It also goes without saying that I am blessed to have an incredible wife who makes our life go!!! Miss. Kelly; The Brown Eyed Girl..
I also am blessed to have my Bermuda family. It really has sucked that this past 21 months has meant restrictions that has meant that we physically haven’t been able to visit but they are integral to our life story.
In fact, it is now a treasured moment that in the summer of 2019, my cousin planned, organized and engineered the coming together of 180 plus of the Mills clan in Bermuda.
It was quite something to be a part of; realizing that I had cousins I didn’t even know I had.
As I think about family; these are but a few reasons why this Christmas, I am full of gratitude for family.
Families Set The Stage For Future Relationships
The very first relationships we have are with our parents and any siblings. Whether healthy or not, these relationships provide a model for what future relationships will look like.
It’s often not a conscious decision, but for better or worse, people choose the relationship connections, many times based on how similar they are to their family.
Family dynamics repeat themselves and reinforce beliefs about relationships and self.
During Challenging Times, People Need A Family They Can Rely On
When life gets hard, people need support.
This can be emotional and/or financial support. Many a time, going through rough times, we will turn to their family if we trust them to provide encouragement and love.
Feeling accepted and understood during a personal crisis is a basic need for people. Families – whether traditional or chosen – can provide that.
Families Can Be An Essential Source Of Affection And Encouragement
In good or bad times, families can provide the affection and encouragement a person needs to be content.
It’s not always easy to find friends or purpose in adulthood. When the family connections are solid, we can find the love and support we need.
With family behind us, many times, we find the motivation and courage for success. On the other side, when we don’t get the love and support from family, sometimes life can feel lonely, even to the point of feeling hopeless.
Families Foster A Sense Of Belonging To Something Greater Than Oneself
Families can be cornerstones of tradition.
Many families carry on traditions through the years by sharing stories from the past. Boy, do we have some!! This creates connections to moments, people that aren’t around anymore.
We can grow with the idea and feeling that we belong to something bigger than ourselves. We can take pride in being a member of such a family unit that’s gone through hardships and triumphs.
While it’s true about all of the above, what’s equally true is that for so many, family is nowhere near where we would have wanted it to be or like so some of the good things about family would seem almost foreign to some.
But The Good News Is…. There Can Be A Family Feel For Everyone….
It’s hurtful for so many, especially during festive times that family isn’t what they would have desired or hoped for so……. The pain, loneliness, sadness of these times weigh heavily…
But… Just like God bringing us into his family, there are friends who become family for us and while not brought together by blood, friends become family by spirit and soul.
I know growing up, my church community was an extension of family. More aunties and grandmas than one would know what to do with, the uncle types who would take time for us in so many different fashions.
Even in my neighborhood, my parents formed some deep friendships with a Ukrainian family, a French Family and an Italian family that became family for us growing up.
Side Note: The dads gave each other full license to deal with the kids when the kids stepped out of line. You could say we might have stepped out of line a few times!!
As I’ve moved along in life, there are friends who are family.
As we write, my 2nd mom, Marilyn Weller’s celebration of Life service is taking place Friday, Dec 17th. If there was ever a family that showed what family was and is by spirit and soul, this would be them.
I’m thankful for my Cecile Street family and my Windhurst Dr. family and I say all of this because it could be that we look and see that family is not existent or family was/ is rough and it was never been healthy.
But maybe, just maybe we could look and see that there could be one and maybe it’s just one that becomes that family bond for us.
As much as we may want to have many, even now, I realize that a trustworthy, faithful few are more important than a whole crew that creates an unevenness in our lives.
More Good News...
What Are The Benefits Of Being Chosen By God To Be In His Family?
Being chosen can be a reminder of God's love for us. ...
Being chosen is an invitation to participate in His family and our world. ... and an opportunity for God to become part of our story.
Being chosen can provide a sense of purpose. ...
Being chosen can help us make new connections . ...
Being chosen can provide a new perspective … and freedom!
So, Christmas mercies remind me of family; the bloodlines and the ones connected by soul and spirit.
I hope that no matter whatever form our family matters take, it is a source of strength, peace and hope during this Christmas season and if we struggle because it’s hard, remember that God will always choose us and want us as part of His family. That is a great reassurance; a great Christmas mercy…
Walking the mercy road with you!
Dave
#ForwardFriday #ChristmasMercies #FamilyMatters #Blog #Speaker #FamilyFeel #SpiritSoul #BloodLines #Essential #GoodNews #Affection #Encouraging
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