This period that we have been living in has been a restless, scary, unnerving, questioning, frustrating, hurtful time yet also in my mind a time where if we can get some things straightened out, it could be the beginnings of good things for our homes, neighborhoods, cities, communities, churches and society.
I had a very eye opening conversation that has led me to my thoughts this week and it went something like this…..
A good friend of mine who has some very strong views on many subjects that are opposite mine said to me very clearly and plainly: “Although I am not religious or have a spiritual connection, it is quite clear to me that all that is going on today is due in part, if not most is due to the lack of a spiritual grounding, a spiritual formation or foundation if you will.”
“If we had more of a spiritual foundation, I doubt that we would have seen a lot of the events that have taken place go the way that they did.”
Wow!!! Talk about some hard hitting truths… which led me to the thoughts about confessions, turning away (Repent-An Old Fashioned Term) and Blind Spots for this Forward Friday……
I am convinced more than ever we need a reformation of spirit, heart, mind, soul and body but we all and I am in the front row to say it must/it has to start with each one of us.
As an aside.....
I want to say that in many moments past and present, church(es) dropped the ball in terms of racial equality, sometimes giving but just lip service or worse in it's treatment of black people and for that, I am truly sorry.
Why? Because it has shrouded/hid/stained the Gospel (Good News) that was and still is for every man or woman.
Even though human beings have leveraged religion for their own purposes, wants to the detriment/loss of others, doesn't in anyway diminish the Power of Change this Good News delivers on.
So, some of what I'm thinking about today flows from this heart.
What Do I Mean By Blind Spots?
We all have blind spots and it has shown up big time in the Covid crisis and in the rioting, protests, pain that erupted over the Floyd murder and subsequent aftermath.
Blind Spots: You May Have A Blind Spot If:
If when a person of color speaks of his/her struggles because of perceived bias/discrimination, whether spoken out loud or in your head, you think that it’s not that bad.. Then…..
If you are not comfortable wanting to make true connections with a person of color i.e.: going for supper, coffee, coming to your house because you may be nervous or afraid… Then…..
If you are a black person and all you feel is anger towards white people who have done you no harm but you’ve grouped them with everything and everyone bad you’ve experienced….. Then…..
If we would rather “They” not come into our neighborhood, church, friendship circles and while we won’t call it racism but our bias and preferences are speaking loud and clear…. Then…..
If we do not see that black people have been overlooked, bypassed, in areas of life where they had to be better than anyone else and still be overlooked for less…. Then…..
If you do not see that the bad elements of the police force tarnish the reputation of the good ones and chalked the Floyd incident off as unfortunate… Then…..
If we, as black people cannot be allowed to express our anger, pain, frustration, helplessness without having a quick response, a fix all things answer to it; if we can’t speak freely to be heard, just to be heard…. Then…..
If we, as black people see innocent, hard working police officers with hatred and treat them with contempt because of the few bad elements, Then…..
If we do not consider ourselves racist but do not see that maybe what has kept us from seeing what a black person may have experienced or is experiencing is because we have preferences and biases that keep us from seeing them for who they are, what they could be dealing with…. Then…..
If we really think that de-funding the Police will change things when in fact, certain areas already have shown an increase in crime and violence because the police in those areas were under siege, under manned, Then…..
If we as Black people do not recognize that while it is true that "Black Lives Matter" but are not aware or not caring that the organization "Black Lives Matter" has more than an a toxic agenda beyond speaking up for black lives and black issues…. Then…..
If we see rioting, looting, the destruction of property, businesses, the killing of innocent black and white people (part of the loss of civility) as a necessary part of change, Then…..
If we think, speak, act as if “Those” people are complaining again because we think they are better off than they say so then why all the noise…. Then…..
If we don’t have a problem with people, organizations etc. being fired, shamed, made to apologize for having a differing opinion than the mob mentality agenda pervading our society… Then……….
If we decide to try and blame a person or a group for all of the troubles while not recognizing that more hands have contributed to a lot of the inequalities Blacks and other minorities have had to face and still face today…. Then……….
If the churches in our communities ignores, stays quiet and does not acknowledge, admit, seek forgiveness for not being on the front-lines of reconciliation for the slights the church has allowed to happen under its banner for many years to black people, indigenous peoples.. Then…..………………………………
If, as a black person, we have allowed our emotions to get the best of us to the point that we will make even our friends pay for the feelings this recent incident has dredged up even though they have done nothing wrong to us but to we need to exact a payment or retribution… Then…..
I could go on but you see, it is obvious that there are plenty of Blind Spots to go around but if all we look at are the blind spots and not look for some real solutions, then we’ll just go around this tree of pain, anger, frustration, mistrust again at some point with greater ramifications.
But I believe that change can happen but there must be a willingness to look inside ourselves to ask the question: is there, are there blind spots that have contributed to me being part of the problem?
I say as a black man, we, as black people are not exempt from being part of the problems we face and equally so, white people cannot wash their hands and say it doesn’t affect me or I affect any of the problem(s) because if we do that… Well Then…..
So Confession and Turning Away (Repent)
As I have been writing previously, yes, legislation, better training, best practices regarding police recruiting and on-going training should be the norm, best practices and treatment of people of color in other areas of life should be in place and not tokenism gestures where things are given just because of the color of our skin.
Best practices and treatment of people of color in other areas of life should be in place and not tokenism gestures where things are given just because of the color of our skin.
But really, it is in the person to person connection where real change will happen.
The governments can only do so much:
The Protest groups, the anarchists have only our interests at heart to the point that it advances their own agendas so it comes back to us. (Seattle being a prime example)
Confession—real, straight up confession—is a critical component of a healthy life. We may not want to admit it, but we as human beings need to be known, truly known . . . and be accepted still. Many of us have believed, though, that to be accepted we can portray images that are only partially accurate. It seems so right, at first. But make no mistake—it’s not. It’s a lie.
As long as we conceal parts of our lives, we cannot know the true depth of friendships.
As long as we hide, true human connections are not really tested.
As long as we hide, we hold doubts: would they stand by me, if they knew the real me? This leads to shame, and we abandon the compassion of true community.
And for those of us as Christians, in this day and age, if there are any people who should be the type of person who has open arms to say that “you can be yourself with me”, it is us.
For you and I, if friends or those we are going to connect with see us only partially, they cannot fight for us—because we obscure what’s going on, the real who we are is hidden.
As a black person, if I don’t get to know you, how do I learn about how you tick and what makes you, you?
As a white person, if you don’t intentionally enter into a deeper connection, more than a surface connection with me, how can I trust that I can get to the confessional part of my life so you can empathize and try and walk a mile in my shoes?
How can we ever cross the divide if we do not intentionally seek to want to be become friends so that in that friendship, we can get to the deeper reservoirs of our lives to share with each other?
We fall short, we need others to see . . . to step in, to help, and to pray, to shoulder on and through with us.
Think About This From The Bible:
Make this your common practice: Confess your sins/missing of the mark/errors/omissions/ to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.
But We Must Go Further: Repent (Turn Away)
Confession is necessary, but it is not enough. The “enough” is reached only when confession is connected with repentance-the turning away of what we’ve done and who’ve we’ve been.
You see, confession is saying, to my black brother and sister, I didn’t know that you have had to deal with some of the hurts and pains that have wounded you.
That I confess that I didn’t see because of my preferences and/or biases but I am up for change and want to grow relationship and connection with you moving forward.
It is me/we saying to my white brother/sister that I am sorry that I judged you, felt hate, anger, resentment in my heart and felt like you were like all the rest when in fact, it wasn’t because you were racist.
It could be because You had preferences and biases that may have determined some of your responses, actions.
I took it to be racist when in fact, it was ignorance of those actions. Not that the actions were right but....
Repentance, though . . . repentance involves a turning: turning away from those sins/missing of the mark; turning our backs on our old selves, on that person who committed those sins. Repentance is saying, we don’t want to be those people anymore.
Repentance is also turning toward God. It’s a willingness to want to become new people.
Confession is critical, but without the turning away (Repent) from what we’ve been or done, we're still in a nebulous state.
The "Turning Away" is the ultimate step we need to more than just consider doing; we need to take the step. Funny; confession requires great nerve, bravery, courage, but to turn away/repent from the “what’s” requires a soft, willing heart.
So Now What?
I’ve been saying for a while now that we must intentionally want to connect with those that are not like us and it will not be easy at first;
We love the organic relationships but in this season, it may be awkward to take first steps but for change to come, we must become uncomfortable and reach out.
Covid has messed up the meeting times in person but we cannot even let that stop us from shifting our thinking about forward plans to want to be a better connector.
With regulations beginning to loosen, the coffee shops, back yard, dinner tables, park bench, porch conversations are screaming to be places of change, warmth.
Take a chance; so it may be awkward at first but if we are serious about changing the Blind spot narrative in our life, we truly want to turn away and change from who’ve we’ve been in regards to race, well, there is no time like the present to start.
If we are really serious about this, if we believe that this period of time is crucial in our history as a people, the human race, then we can do no less than to begin to reach out.
That blind spot might be screaming not to do it, you don’t know what it’s going to be like…
So…. Is what has taken place in the past number of weeks any good? Hardly…
So….. The old ways of thought and action, we can/should collectively turn our backs on those non-functioning methods and look to change.
To That person (I'm first in line) who committed those Mistakes.
Soften. Our.. Heart...
Be willing to listen to others in the growing of relationships and I’d say we should maybe listen to God too.
In spite of the many people, even churches who have behaved badly where it has come to race while saying that they spoke for God, you should know that they were grossly mistaken and hid His love and plan for men and women to have true, authentic connections and relationships.
(We will not pour our hearts out completely to everyone but, we need one or two: and we do need to form friendships that are not just surface types)
It’s crazy; God will always let us start fresh.
So let’s start thinking about how we can start processing on how to start fresh and put some things into play so this is not a classroom exercise but a real, tangible moment of change.
To Change is not based on a feel moment; it is based on a Decision.
It just has to start with one; imagine if we all decided to intentionally connect with one and go from there:
I Can See It; Can You?
Come back and read Monday’s Post because we cannot say or try to walk all of this out if our attitude is wrong….
Motivational Monday Attitudes… Reactions!!
Until then, I’m with You!!!
Dave
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