Say, did you hear the one about…. Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Or… What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
Yep, those dad jokes…. Except, a few months ago, after a session of bad dad jokes in class, a student asked her teacher, “What’s it like to have a dad?”
Forward Friday is a call to fathers, grandfathers, father figures, spiritual fathers to not listen to the prevailing voices that seem to say that strong men are not needed; in fact, never more has there been a greater need for men to stand in the gap for their families, the next generation and the society at large. And as always, there’s good news medicine at the end…
Let’s Get Into This!
As the teacher continued, this student struggled with many things over the past number of years, and she never knew her dad. She listened to this teacher talk about the impact her dad had on her and she wondered aloud that if she had had a leader/guide/mentor/confidant/instructor in her life, maybe the choices she had been making would have been different?
Now, Let’s Clear Up A Couple Of Things First:
We are cheerleaders for the moms and women who have had to be mom, dad, all world and a whole lot more for all sorts of various reasons; those who have made incredible differences in the lives of their children, other kids, young people, their communities and world…
And we are not talking about men who give “real, strong men” a bad name because well, they just seem to be able to mess things up.
But it stands to reason that incredible women and strong men in the lives of young people do not have to be mutually exclusive; on the contrary, together they can be complementary.
Working with young people for almost 30 years, I have seen the erosion of many of the anchors that are needed for young people to make a positive difference in their societies and many of the casualties have come because of the lack of a dad, father figure.
How do good men (Fathers of many kinds mentioned above) positively influence those, especially the younger generations around them? And I should add that real, positive influence transcends just the child, teenager... In my experience, solid father figures are needed throughout our life….
Sometimes, we hear that line, “Well, we are at least around!” which sounds good but studies say different and the realities of life need and demand more.
So here are some things that I believe are important characteristics that matter.
Dependable- Being there through thick and thin. This is not just being present and correct. It’s about being consistently available through good times and bad.
Involved-Being involved intentionally in the lives, interests, hopes and dreams we are connecting with on a daily basis. Being curious and focused requires commitment and purpose.
Compassion-Showing compassion, hope and belief for when those we are in relationship with needs it most.
Valuing of Mothers/Women-Showing respect and love for the mothers/wife/women we are connected with in all the phases that would look like. This isn’t about just always agreeing;
Valuing women for who they are with all their imperfections. Showing love and respect requires action, not just thoughts, and strong men have a great role in modeling to young men and women how to treat others and be treated.
Empathy-Man, if men could get this, so much could be much better. Listening with compassion in order to be understanding, present and engaged. Even when guys don’t completely get it, or even like it!
Being Verbally Expressive-To clearly communicate, have guidelines, being firm yet fair, without belittling or being controlling. In the war on men in the past 10 years, there is this design to shut down men or it could be made to seem like some of the above are toxic elements when in reality they are not.
Being Human-To own mistakes, be open to feedback, and teach that growth is a lifelong venture. Teaching that to be human means we have to show our own humanity, as often as possible.
Honesty-Teach and live by the values of honesty and integrity.
Having Fun-Showing pleasure in our children/youth/the people we are connected to through fun and relaxing activities. The benefit of having fun is a big deal!
Being Diligent/Hard Working-Model a healthy work ethic but not only just about work but a valuable attitude toward duties and responsibilities in general.
And Now For Some Good News Medicine…..
Sometimes, I am convinced that part of the reason why there has been a disconnect as to the importance of a father/dad and what all of that means is because of the distorted view many people have of God.
Yes, there is the aspect of men who have made dubious choices in many ways all across the spectrum that in no way have helped perceptions but…..
I believe that people over time (churches, ministers/priests etc.) have obscured the reality and truth of the fact that God is a good Father/Dad and that has been missed and needs to be revisited.
Isaac Newton said this: “We have built too many walls and not enough bridges.”
And in the area of Fathers/Dads/Father Figures/Spiritual Fathers, the perception exists and when it comes to God, many people feel like there is a wall/gulf/divide between them and the maker of the universe.
But the Good News Is Actually this:
God Is A Good Father
God Is A Father Who Leads And Guides
(Isaiah 64:8 O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.).
He Shows Earthly Fathers How To Love Their Children.
Matthew 7:11 So if you (sinful/missing of God’s mark) people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
James 1:17 Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.
He Reminds Those Who Didn't Have Loving Fathers That He Is There For Them.
Psalms 68:5 “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”
Think of it; of the many ways and means that He could have chosen to relate to humanity, He chose the language of family. He could have described Himself as a noble dictator, nice boss, or tolerant landlord. But instead, He chose the word father.
During His Time On Earth, Jesus Talked About His Father's Love And Goodness To All And In One Unique Encounter, He Said The Following.
Luke 11:18-19 Once a religious leader asked Jesus this question: “Good Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked him.“ Only God is truly good.
F. Santora says, “what Jesus was saying to the rich young ruler is that when it comes to "goodness," God is uniquely good. God does good and gets nothing in return. He simply is good; He loves us and enjoys being good. His goodness is unmatched, unparalleled, unprecedented and unequalled! When it comes to goodness, God is in a class all by Himself.”
I had a young person who we were connected with for a long time. There were many a moment where the phone would ring or there was the text, “can I come over for a while?”
They said that they knew I was a good (spiritual) dad, and I could help them with the broken moments.
I tried to show that as a limited human being, I could do my best to help them figure thing out but to really show that God is truly trustworthy, when they would become a young adult and adult, they would know how to run to their Heavenly Father because He is bedrock when it would come to trusting Him.
So, The Thoughts I Think….
These Things Are True……..
God is not behind our problem – He is behind our promise.
We don’t have children of our own and even though there are still moments where I wish we did, I am cognizant of the reality that I’ve been entrusted with many students, young people, young adults and my hope is that I have and will continue to show what a good dad, a father figure, a spiritual dad looks like.
I would like to believe I take my cues from a loving Heavenly Father who transmitted his Fatherly qualities to my dad, who in turn passed them to me.
If we have had hard, rough, seemingly impossible connections with our earthly father or father figures, maybe this weekend’s Canada Day post will encourage us that all is not lost and that we truly need, more than ever dads, fathers, grandfathers, Father figures, spiritual fathers to be healthy, strong to love and be an anchor for us!!
So when you hear the next dad joke and 2 are coming up in a minute, may it remind us how important strong fathers are needed in our society.
When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.
And one more for the road...
When does a joke become a “dad joke”? When it becomes apparent. Wow...That's bad!!
Walking the road with you……Progress 2023
Dave
#ForwardFriday #DadJokes #GoodFather #SpiritualFathers #FatherFigures #GodIsGood #Kind #Dependable #Available #Kind #Blog #Speaker #Honesty #Trust #Progress2023
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