It’s a crazy and uncertain time we are living in yet it is in these moments where we can gain some perspective about life, our life and how that looks, gain strength even in the midst of chaos.
Even when we don’t have or think we don’t have the strength to make it through the disorder, we can lean on the tried and true Way of The Cross.
It’s amazing how stores give us the cue too: the Easter eggs and bunnies adorn the shelves and cry out for us to start stocking up on the goodies. To be fair, they give us the cues for everything. Halloween is over and it’s Christmas. Christmas is over and it’s Valentine’s time and after Valentine’s, Easter.
But it’s more than a bunny or crème egg.
Many people follow Lent which is the period of 40 days which comes before Easter. Beginning on Ash Wednesday, Lent is a season of reflection and preparation before the celebrations of Easter.
I think that as people, okay I’ll just speak for me that at times, we don’t take enough time to reflect on who we are, where we are going and how we are going to get there enough.
Even to the point that we/I don’t enforce moments to do just that.
It’s interesting that with the corona virus pandemic, it has for many people enforced a type of imposed step back from the usual daily run of life.. (Please….. stop buying toilet paper)
One need not be religious to see that Easter which is about the sacrifice and gift of God’s son’s redemption for mankind has a number of moments where Jesus took time to get away to reflect, contemplate, pray, gain strength for what was to come.
So in that spirit, I am reflecting on changes that I’ve been seeing in me that I do believe is for the good.
It is shortsighted to keep continually pouring out of one’s life if there are no deposits being made to enrich, strengthen that same life.
In January, it was a year that mom had passed away and while I didn’t think or figure that I was kind of frozen, going through the motions of life as best as I could, it became very apparent that I had reached a point where I needed some help and relief.
Funny, we humans don’t always like to admit that we have limits and sometimes, we just can’t take anymore whatever the something(s) are/is.
3 Things I am Learning in this season of Lent.
Changing The Way I Think Where It Comes To Asking For Help.
It is important when we need help to reach out and ask for it no matter how uncomfortable it may appear or seem to be.
I went to see someone to help me process how I was feeling and the first thing that came out was that I needed to stop thinking that I had to be the one to fix whatever the thing would be and start accepting I am one person.
When it sinks in that we are worthy of the luxury of having help from others, it is amazing how angles of light and life open up, allowing us time to be inspired and, subsequently, those around us.
I always thought that I could handle most anything thrown my way.
Multi tasker, Swiss army knife; I could work long hours; accessible all the time. I could handle most anything.
And yes, I have learned how to delegate over the years better than in my younger years but when something needs to get done, Go…..
And I thought I was okay until…. I crashed, hard.
In a classroom one morning, I knew I needed help.
I was parachuted into a school that needed some oversight for a period of time. As part of my oversight, I would spend time in various classes and on this particular morning, the teacher said, “Hey gang, let’s go to the lunchroom for a snack.”
As she said that, I had to go back into the classroom because I knew I was about to burst….
I went over to my friend’s office who is a guidance counselor and said that I didn’t know what was happening but I was a mess.
As I was sitting there, an emotional wreck, she said four little words to me that changed everything: "How can I help?" She said, "Tell me what you need and we’ll figure it out together." It was that simple.
From that day on, I’ve been working on asking more for help when I need it.
I went to see a therapist and it has been an interesting walk as there have been clarity moments that were always there; just needed someone to point them out to me in a kind, thoughtful way.
As she has said more than once, “You don’t always need to be the hero; you bleed like everyone else!”
That could be taken in a wrong way if our attitude is not in a good place but she was/is right.
It is a good thing to offer and receive help. In fact, like everything else, there must be a give and take so that we have something in our tanks to give out when needed and also have the capacity to receive when we need to be filled.
Making Time For Me/Us Is Important
It is often to our detriment that we neglect ourselves because we're too busy doing everything.
In the end, that's not helpful to anyone: We can burnout and frustration takes over, which creates a recipe for trouble.
It occurred to me that I was saying a lot of, “I’ll do this/that soon or at some time” and the crazy thing is that sometime, rarely ever happened.
Things like reading that new book, checking out the new restaurant, going for a hike, going for a drive, taking a short trip etc.
I decided to take myself up on the offer for a short trip so recently, I visited my best friend for a few days. It was refreshing and something I said I would do for 2 years but finally did. It was amazing to do some reflecting at various points and coming home spiritually and emotionally refreshed.
Something else that occurred to me was that I had been shying away from working out like I had previous to my shoulder injury. Strange how something can create a fear factor that we may not be able to do what we did before a situation/scenario came up.
Oh, I still am very active; I referee and am on the ice 4 to 5 times a week and playing hockey every Saturday but I would be very reticent to work out because what if I blew my shoulder again?
So while I was away, I worked out at my friend’s complex and it was very freeing that my shoulder could handle a lot more than I thought.
So, since coming home, we are getting back on the saddle so to speak and we are putting in some new, attainable goals for my health and welfare and I don’t know if I would have started this soon had I not taken the step to get away and reboot.
Another thing that I’ve always struggled with is answering the phone. No matter the number, I would pick up the phone anytime it rang. I can remember when I would have to find a payphone to make a call when out, walk to the kitchen to answer the phone at home. Cell phones; they can find us anywhere and everywhere but…… I’m learning to wait to answer or watch this, check for a message if I don’t know or recognize the number..
Rare is it an emergency so turning it off or on silent mode is okay!!!! It may not seem like a big deal to some but for those who know, that phone can be a time killer!!
Self-care that isn’t a hit or miss proposition also helped me find a better appreciation for my life.
It helps my relationship with my wife, family and friends. It helps me in my connections with students and colleagues and these recent little tweaks makes a difference in continuing to grow the life I’ve been blessed to lead.
These little changes are important and they do matter and in this time of this uncertainty, every positive movement forward is significant but even more is….
What Matters Most
Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men/women."
There will come a time in life when we must take an inward look at where we are and that's OK. While it's not an easy task, in this season of Lent, to gain not only an emotional and psychological clear perspective but also a healthy spiritual perspective matters.
I think of a verse that says that a man or woman should examine themselves.
This corona virus has created a lot of waves but many times, crisis creates opportunity and I know for me, it is becoming a time of reflection for growth and preparing me for the days, weeks and months to come.
many times, crisis creates opportunity
I think that Lent, bringing us to Easter weekend is a perfect time and maybe the timing is right for us to:
Check out where we are on what matters most and if we are not feeling grounded especially in the world that we live in with the onslaught of Covid-19, that maybe it could be a signal to find our spiritual heritage (renew our spiritual heritage) if we feel rootless, stuck, afraid, frayed, unsure of the ground we stand on.
Asking For Help Makes A Big Difference; Mindsets Can Shift So We Know We’re Not Alone.
Making Time Is So Important To Help Us Prioritize Us; We Need To Be Healthy To Be Able To Make A Difference.
What Matters Most Centers Us And Grounds Us If Can We Stop To See What’s On The Inside And Make Adjustments.
It helps us in times of discontent, distress, uncertainty, the unknown.
Very simple yet effective and every day is a new day to practice.
I’ve been singing this song for the past month and maybe this could be a source of comfort to you not only for this time we live in but whenever we may be going through a season that isn’t comfortable.
I Believe It Will Turn Around..
Sometimes discouraged, but not defeated, Cast down, but not destroyed There are times I don't understand, But I believe it's turning around for me
I've had struggles and disappointments, There are times I felt so alone Some of my friends, they let me down, But I still believe it's turning around for me
Around for me around for me, around for me it's turning around for me
I can see the breaking of day, God is making a way A change is coming for me, If I stand strong and believe There's no reason to doubt, I know He's working it out It's turning around for me
And it won't always be like this, He will perfect that concerning me
And sooner or later, it'll turn in my favor (Sooner or later, turn in my favor)… It's turning around for me
Peace
Dave
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