For most people, someone's life is not written in a biography that people can go to a bookstore and pick up to read. The vast majority of peoples' lives are spoken by the way they lived and their life is that very book.
But there are the oral accounts from the person or others that go deeper into that life and the significance of how they lived magnifies exponentially.
Such a life was/is the incredible story of Beatrice Mary Dancy Mills.
Forward Friday continues the series, "Stop Being Afraid" and there could be no one that embodies the sentiments of walking tall in the storms of life than Bumble Bea!!! This weekend marks the 4th birthday that Mom is not with us any longer but her life still speaks and maybe some of what is read in this week's post can encourage us to stand tall; even alone sometimes because there is strength in the Backbone! As usual, there is always good medicine!!
Let's Get Into This:
Of the million plus talks I had with Mom, some of the most eye opening and revealing conversations were after dad had passed away and in the last year of her life.
Mom's Childhood Was Anything But Easy.
Her mom had passed away when mom was very young so it was left to her dad to raise her on his own.
This was made even more difficult as her dad was trying to begin a fledgling business as a shoe repair, maker shop. An American in a French Canadian city, negotiating a language he didn't know, on foreign soil with a 3 year old in tow, it made for some tenuous moments.
Mom was sent off to boarding school when she was a teenager and there were 2 different schools she attended.
Because she was part French Canadian, part American, Mom was picked on at times mercilessly by her classmates of all ethnic backgrounds.
It was hard to fit in.
It didn't help that the headmasters and teachers in both schools were less than kind to mom. (I'm being diplomatic) Mom spent many a day with reprimands, even the ruler whacks which were even at the best of times, humiliating.
But a couple of months before she died, we were coming back from an appointment, mom began to recount some of those moments.
She said, " While there were many times that I cried because my dad was building a business and it didn't seem like he had any time for me, when the students in the different schools would badger me, call me names, pick on me, the teachers saying that I wouldn't make it in life and more, I would say to myself that life would have to get better!"
"So I would walk for hours and when I would see the beauty of God's creation and the good things that He made, I would tell myself that it would get better!"
"I would dry my tears and joy would start to spark inside and soon, a smile would work its way through on my face because I knew it had to get better!"
And slowly it did....
When Mom Met The Love Of Her Life
Mom may have only had a high school education but that never stopped her from being resourceful.
Mom worked in a number of industries and was an accomplished seamstress at one point.
Mom's relationship circle grew when she began attending church, becoming a committed Christian and bringing joy to all those around her.
Mom became a student of the Bible and was a great teacher over many years.
It was through mutual friends and connections that mom met dad on a blind date at a youth convention in Belleville, Ontario.
Through a letter romance writing relationship over a couple of years, they fell in love, got married and moved to Bermuda.
It was not easy though. Dad was a favorite "Son" of the beautiful island so when he came back home to live with his new bride from "Canada", it was not well received at first.
Mom was ostracized, relegated to almost non-status for a period of time and those early days on the island were lonely and sad.
But..... Dad encouraged her that he made his choice and there was nothing anyone could do about it and it was time to live.
I think about the courage it took to, as she had always done to love and treat everyone she met with love and grace, even when she knew that she was not looked upon with kindness but she did it anyway...
The rest as they say is history.
Mom became everyone's favorite not because she held "No Bitter Water" (which was part of the battle inwardly) but her attitude, grace, charm, love for people, contagious zest for life won people over!
I didn't know of the tough start in Bermuda until the last few years of her life but I do know that when we would go to Bermuda on holidays, even the last 2 trips when we brought her for her 90th and 93rd birthdays, Mom was the belle of the ball!
What kind of strength, determination it took to in spite of everyone's best shots to demoralize her, Mom took a licking but kept on ticking and people were won over to Bumble Bea!
It reminds me of a saying Dad would say often; "Son, people may swear at you for your beliefs, convictions, thinking but if you can hold on to them long enough, One day they'll swear by you!"
"Son, people may swear at you for your beliefs, convictions, thinking but if you can hold on to them long enough, One day they'll swear by you!"
Yes, that exemplifies mom to a tee!!
The Later Years!!
When Dad passed away in 2003, we made a pact that we would do everything we could to give mom the best quality of life we could and that maybe, Mom would have a renaissance period in her later years.
One day, after going to a doctor's appointment, Mom looked at me and said, "I want to live; your father wouldn't want me to shrivel up in a corner and be afraid of being alone." Those marching orders were taken seriously and mom did a whole lot in the 16 years after dad went home.
While saddened and grieving, it didn’t stop Beatrice from continuing to live life to the fullest.
Mom was my oldest Youth Sponsor in my Youth center ministry and later, Keith’s.
Mom also also traveled to Spain, Cuba, Atlanta, Detroit, Bermuda, Ottawa, and some of these trips happened with a fractured knee and that didn't stop her.
I think of how mom loved her family, making strangers feel like family, having a positive attitude even in uncomfortable moments was a hallmark of Beatrice’s life.
Sometimes, one would have thought mom was born out of the womb like that but when the layers get peeled back and we see that her beginnings were rough, hard, cold, lonely.
Still mom would not let Fear run her life, then it's all the more admirable and worthy of honor that she lived a life that brought warmth to so many.
Mom Would Not Let Fear Run Her Life-Some Good Medicine...
Mom would often say when I would talk to her about my fears and concerns, that she would say that she would speak back scripture verses that she memorized to help her through the tough moments.
Psalms 56:3 But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. 4 I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?
Mom would say that it's not unusual to be afraid as a human being because life can throw us some crazy stuff but it's not so much what you know as to who you know that can help us walk the road of life.
It's not so much what you know as to who you know that can help us walk the road of life.
Mom would sing when Dad would travel and speak at different churches, (Heck, my brother and I did as well) and among the many songs Mom would sing, there was a song that when she sang, there was powerful emotions that resonated from her when she sang.
Some of the words were,
No one under-stands like Jesus, When the days are dark and grim.
No one is so near, so dear as Jesus; Cast Your every care on Him.
No understands like Jesus; Every woe He sees and feels.
Tenderly He whispers comfort, And the broken heart He heals.
Many times, Mom would be overcome with emotion and as a kid and teenager, I thought it was the words and song which was true.
Coming to understand the roads that Mom walked through at various times of her life, then the song then becomes even more powerful, understanding that her deep faith and relationship with Jesus got her through some tough times.
Mom could have held grudges, decided to treat people badly because of all the things she had lived through but Mom would always talk character, anger/grudges don't get you anywhere and she'd talk about her simple way to live.
John 4:23 "It's who you are and the way you live that count before God.
Missing mom but Her Life and Words still speak and among the many things she is still saying..... "Stop Being Afraid!" Her courage still speaks volumes...
Thank you Mom and Love you as much as ever!!!!!!
Dave
#ForwardFriday #CourageSpeaks #StopBeingAfraid #FearDoesNotRuleOurLives #Speaker #Blog #NoBitterWaters #LoveOfLife #GoodMedicine
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