Do You Ever Just feel Overwhelmed?
We're here in the middle of this crazy time and let's be honest, life can sometimes be overwhelming even at the best of times. Who would have thought that we would virtually be in almost the same place we were in last year?
Here in Quebec, we just came out of another curfew; (I think I had those as a teenager but an adult in a free society? okay..... but that's for another day) it's been weird; with so much going on, the pressure starts to build on top of what we've already been living through.
The anxiety, mental strain, frustration of seemingly being in a quick sand type of time period has amped up in many an anxiousness that has been creeping up for a while now but for many, the walls may feel like they are starting to close in.
Forward Friday is simply saying that we matter, many of us have some sort of struggle that we deal with, we don't have to keep our pain to ourselves, reaching out is a good thing.
It's also saying that we should, especially now not take it for granted that everyone is okay. Reaching out in any way possible to connect with friends, family, co workers to check in is so important always but especially now.
Let's Get Into This!
So.... it is sometimes a little unnerving to talk about some of our own insecurities, the battles we face because what will people think? How will they perceive us now? Will they look at us differently or think of us differently because we opened a door on some hard things we've lived through and sometimes, still live through?
I decided it was too important not to and I'd rather take a chance and maybe it could be that one person reading this that will feel that they are not alone, maybe reach out and ask for some help or maybe we will decide to reach out because sometimes, our call, our text, our video chat, our drive-by or drop in with coffee (hot chocolate) in hand was just what someone needed.
I recall that in this same period of time last year (mom passed away 3 years ago in January), some anxious, fear type moments were creeping up again.
After mom passed away in 2019, I spent time talking with a counselor and that helped a lot.
When I noticed it was occurring again, I called last year and met by phone every week for a couple of months.
I am found it really helped and I don't have to try and be Superman when I'm just Dave and that is perfectly fine, warts and all.
So, this post below was my very first back in June, 2018 and I believe it has merit to re-share again on Let's Talk Week-Weekend.
Maybe for some of us, it will give us courage to reach out to say we care and that person matters enough to us that we extend our hands and heart to them.
At the end of this post, there is a good medicine moment that can be helpful and beneficial for us as we walk into the weekend!!
From June 2018
So we woke up to the news this morning that Anthony Bourdain, famed chef and traveler apparently took his own life. This bookends the earlier story this week that Kate Spade, fashion designer extraordinaire also took her own life.
I have to say that I was in shock this morning as I would regularly watch Bourdain's travels and usually say, "you're a braver man than I" to eat the delicacies of the places he'd visit but it was breaking into the stories behind the places he went to that were fascinating.
I never bought anything for Kelly at Kate Spade because, well because....$$$$$$$$
I never bought anything for Kelly at Kate Spade because, well because..... But Kate obviously had talent and a knack for her craft as evidenced by her brands appeal. But a dark hole is a dark hole and it hurts my heart to think of the pain they, like so many others live through and sometimes, feel there is only one way out.
I know because I lived in that dark hole for a long time.
Sometimes, the dark hole comes because of what someone or something had/has done to us and the dark hole manifests itself from there or sometimes, it's a condition or sometimes, we just don't know and yet it comes. Sometimes, there are no simple Wikipedia answers...
Sometimes, there are no simple Wikipedia answers...
Sometimes, shame becomes us so who wants to say that we only see one color and that color is dark, damp and dingy and it's more than claustrophobic at the best and worst of times?
Who wants to admit that? And sometimes, we can't even explain it to ourselves much less anyone else...
I remember when Robin Williams died, while some could see the pain he lived in, so many said, "He made the world laugh", "how could this be?"
I used to live in the conundrum; helping people feel good about themselves and trying to do my best to put others first but having disturbing, dark hole moments that would threaten to overrun me.
I know that it was God that kept me together through my dark storms until I was able to receive what I needed to turn a corner.
I know that it was God that kept me together through my dark storms until I was able to receive what I needed to turn a corner.
It also was a caring Police officer that, over 2 summers at a Youth Camp in Ontario would seek me out because he knew that beyond the laughter, the front view and facade, was a deeply troubled young man desperate to find answers to the dark hole.
It was much later that the answers came and while he couldn't answer what I didn't even know at the time, he decided to step in and bring some comfort.
I decided that it was time to speak up because while the world sees the famous who couldn't get out of the black hole so to speak, there are many others daily living in that same darkness who need a helping hand, a safe place to land, to know they are not alone, not a freak, not weird, not a scourge on society, not a burden.
Maybe because in the past, when I did speak up and many have been helped by it, it brought with telling it ridicule, shaming, scorn, the loss of friendships, job possibilities etc. but I realized then as I still do now that I don't have anything to lose (and in some respects, I never had anything to lose then either) and if I can help be a part of a solution for even one person in a small way, well then, it's worth not being afraid of anything or anybody because...
Well.... Because People Matter....
So, many times I've unpacked my journey, my story, a journey of dealing with suicidal thoughts, bulimia, depression and tell it because the dark hole is just like the trap house; it's designed to make one think once they're in, they've got no way out so we've got to live in it but... there is..... we can get out and keep getting out.
If you are living or feel like you are living in a dark place, please take a chance to tell someone... start somewhere even if it feels weird.
I was about to say society but we should bring it home to ourselves that even though life hustles us and social media makes us feel like we're so connected when we may not be as much as we think or believe we are, reaching out and trying to make meaningful connections could be all the difference for someone..
All because we did try and connect; we did go an extra mile to say hey; we did take time for that coffee we're usually too busy to have; we made a call or sent a text or wrote a note (imagine that?!!!)
because it matters... It really does...
My heart not only aches for Anthony's, Kate's, Robin's families and friends but the countless other families who have had to endure what they are experiencing.
You may be living or feel like you are in the black hole; believe it or not, there are other colors too... It seems hard to believe but there are.....
Good Medicine Moment:
One of my favorite heroes in the Bible was a man by the name of Elijah. He had an impressive resume:
-fearless, bold and dauntless reformer
-a performer of miracles
-the rain stopped at his word and rain didn't fall in the land for 3 1/2 years.
-An impressive battle against the King's prophets and he not only won but had them taken out.
Only the next picture we see after this great win is Elijah under a broom tree wanting to die because the Queen is enraged for having her prophets killed.
Elijah...afraid... running for his life. Comes to a broom tree, sits down under it and prays that he might die. He had enough, he says to God He said. Take my life; I am no better that my ancestors. Then he fell asleep.
It's crazy but the same Elijah; fierce, incredible man of faith yet his words, thoughts, emotions and actions are those of someone who would be considered clinically depressed, disillusioned and suicidal.
So.... We many times don't need a laundry list of things to do as we are trying to deal with the black hole.
2 Things Among Many That Fly Out To Me That I Think Can Help Us Today.
1 Kings 19:5-8 twice, the angel woke Elijah up to eat because his life wasn't over and he had a journey ahead of him.
So after eating a couple of times, Elijah had enough strength to travel the 40 days to the mountain for his conversation with God.
1. But... He Had To Get Up.
Sometimes, it is the simplest thing(s) that we can do that can slowly start our journey from always seeing dark.
For me, one of my first get up moments many years ago was to go to the tennis courts and hit out. To channel whatever those feelings were out on the court was a beginning.
To see real change took many other "Get Up" moments but it was one of my starts on the road out of the "Black Hole".
2. Talking Really Helps.
1 Kings 19:9-10 And the word of the Lord came to him: What are you doing here, Elijah?
It is important to note that God does not ask him, why are you here? Or why did you do that? It is my reflection that it is as if God is saying... Elijah, now that you are here, talk to me about what you are doing.......
No condemnation, no nagging, no fear, just talk to me.
Simply, if we are struggling, take a chance to tell someone where you are.... It's not easy but it's a start...
If you're on the listening end, let's not be know it all's or prescription writers.
Sometimes, the biggest first step for most of us who have or are struggling is if we talk, we need someone to listen.
So, this is a start..... Maybe we can all take something away from these little thoughts to help ourselves or help somebody else but especially now, we need each other more than ever.
You may: be living or feel like you are in the black hole; believe it or not, there are other colors too... It seems hard to believe but there are.....
Because sometimes, It's Just Time To See Other Colors....
For the brighter days...
Dave
#ForwardFriday #mentalillness #notalone #gethelp #beahelpinghand #blog #OtherColors #speaker #BlackHole #hopeinthedarkness #rayoflight #WeAreNotAlone #mutualhumanmosiac #weareconnected #LetsTalk
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