Hey, go to work and don’t worry about me, “It’s going to get better!” They were the last words mom spoke to me before she went into eternity…Those words still ring in my ears 4 years later…
Forward Friday is all about reflections of my mom, the incomparable Beatrice Dancy Mills and the lessons learned and still are learning from the gal who made everyone smile…
And maybe this Mother’s day is a sad one for many of us as we miss our mom….
Hopefully, listening in on some of mom’s story and how she made such a difference in my life and in so many others could warm our hearts when we think of our own mom…
Let’s Get Into This!!
It’s hard to believe that it is 4 mother’s days since mom left us for heaven. That assurance is not in doubt. What still remains is the missing of the crazy “Bumble Bea” and all she meant to our family and so many others.
I think of how she could warm the coldest heart, make it almost impossible for someone not to smile, taking in to our family her daughter in-laws without reservation and the list goes on, there are days where I wish I could feel those wrinkly hands on my face or another dumb joke that wasn’t funny (queue Dave’s Jokes) to be laughed at anyway……..
But mom was so much more… so today, a few things stick out in my mind as I remember the lady who in spite of everything she faced… Could……And Did……..
Mom Was Not A Victim… But An Overcomer….
Mom grew up in a difficult time; the late 20’s and early 30’s, marked by the economic state of the society at the time.
Born to an American dad who came to Montreal, met a French-Canadian lady, got married, had mom but lost her mom when she was very young.
Her only recollections of her mom were vague and there existed only a couple of pictures but just her mom alone with no family in those pictures.
Her dad was a fledgling entrepreneur, with the concerns of building a business in a foreign city, mom went to boarding school and the convent.
To say that those years were hard were an understatement.
As well as being one who was part French Canadian, part American, mom was many times ostracized and left out because of it.
Loneliness was part of her landscape at the best of times….. But…..
Mom wasn’t a quitter or one that would just sit down.
Mom completed high school, worked in many industries, became very involved in her church, found meaning for her life and in turn, found that she had more in her hand than it may have looked from the outside.
She would say when lonely or feeling down, “I’d walk the streets of the city, sometimes for miles and as I walked, I’d see all that God had created and realized that it wasn’t all bad and… It’s Going To Get Better!”
And it did…..
She met dad, got married, had her boys and along the way, became an accomplished Bible Teacher, a singer, loved people with an unquenchable warmth that made everyone who met her want to spend time with her… just because it was mom…
Mom would often say, “it may have been tough for me but there was/is someone who has had it worse so I learned to sing.. even when it rained!”
Mom Was The Ultimate Encourager/Genuinely Loved People
If there was ever a time when encouragement was needed in our society, it’s now.
Mom was the best at it. Growing up in our neighborhood, our home was the hub.
From sports to just hanging out, it was our house and it was in large part to mom and her loving attitude.
We couldn’t get our friends to leave; from mom always having baked goodies on hand but really to her hugs and kisses, mom just loved people!
I don’t know how many times I would come home from school and the front door would be open but no mom. (Can’t really do that now)
Mom would be across the street, talking to people at the grocery store, at the corner chatting up the neighbors or people would actually be standing on the steps and mom was holding court so to speak.
Mom, when dad passed away became my most senior volunteer when I was running my youth center as well as when Keith was running the same center years later.
The young people loved hanging around “Grandma Bea”.
She just knew how to draw people in. A skill, talent and expertise to “overlook” things to make people cared for and wanted to pull people in to be loved.
We were Blessed!!
Mom Encouraged Us To Not Let Fear Run Our Life-Some Good Medicine...
Mom would not let Fear run her life, then it's all the more admirable and worthy of honor that she lived a life that brought warmth to so many.
Mom would often say when I would talk to her about my fears and concerns, that she would say that she would speak back scripture verses that she memorized to help her through the tough moments.
Psalms 56:3 But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. 4 I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?
Mom would say that it's not unusual to be afraid as a human being because life can throw us some crazy stuff but it's not so much what you know as to who you know that can help us walk the road of life.
It's not so much what you know as to who you know that can help us walk the road of life.
Mom would sing when Dad would travel and speak at different churches, (Heck, my brother and I did as well) and among the many songs Mom would sing, there was a song that when she sang, there were powerful emotions that resonated from her when she sang.
Some of the words were...
No one under-stands like Jesus, When the days are dark and grim. No one is so near, so dear as Jesus; Cast Your every care on Him. No understands like Jesus; Every woe He sees and feels. Tenderly He whispers comfort, And the broken heart He heals.
Many times, Mom would be overcome with emotion and as a kid and teenager, I thought it was the words and song which was true.
Coming to understand the roads that Mom walked through at various times of her life, then the song then becomes even more powerful, understanding that her deep faith and relationship with Jesus got her through some tough times.
Mom could have held grudges, decided to treat people badly because of all the things she had lived through but Mom would always talk character, anger/grudges don't get you anywhere and she'd talk about her simple way to live.
John 4:23 "It's who you are and the way you live that count before God.
Missing mom but Her Life and Words still speak and among the many things she is still saying..... "Stop Being Afraid!" Her courage still speaks volumes...
Thank you Mom and Love you as much as ever!!!!!!
Dave
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