Forward Friday is a celebration of my Mom, The Bumble Bea for all times but really, for most of us, a celebration of moms…
I am keenly aware that for some, this will be the first Mother’s Day without their mom, many like myself who have lost their mom and miss them terribly, and for many of us who still have our moms, a time to cherish her.
No matter what the state we find ourselves in, I trust on this Mother’s Day weekend, hearing some of the stories that made Momma Mills’ tribe like existence so special to many will warm your heart, whether in the missing of your mom or the celebrating of your mom this weekend!
Let’s Get Into This!
I think from an early age, I knew my mom was different.
Our house was the place that the neighborhood kids always came to and hung out at. Games outside which was always halted by some sort of goodies mom always seems to make and those hugs.
I think that besides coming to play hockey on our rink that dad concocted or in spring and summer playing around our house, the kids seemed to get charged to get their hug from Mom.
Mom Never Stayed In The House And Shut The Door.
Many a time, I would come home from school and mom would be on the porch, holding court with the neighborhood folk, or better still, the front door would be unlocked, screen door barely latched. Mom would be across the street at the IGA grocery store talking to someone, hugging someone, laughing with someone, cheering someone up…..
Mom Was Strong:
One day coming home for lunch on the school bus in grade 5, Tom Corbett had bothered me for the last time. As I was dragging him off the bus and throwing punches at him with Mrs. Harkness telling me to stop because I could kill him (slightly overblown), the next thing I knew was that I was in the air and moving towards our stairs while not touching the ground.
Mom heard the commotion, came out and literally picked me up and carried me over here shoulder for 40 feet!!
After calming me down and I came out of the red hot-white hot momentary trance, I realized that while nice and loving, Mom could throw down!!!
Mom Was Elegant
Mom always looked good in any situation but for me, the most elegant picture is of mom kicking a soccer ball with her boys in a classy pencil skirt outfit and looking good doing it.
Mom had class!!
Mom Was A Warrior
Mom faced a lot of adversity in her life. From losing her mom at an early age and never really knowing her, to going to boarding school, the convent, being a child of French Canadian-Black heritage, dealing with all the twists and turns of being an only child with some of the obstacles that she faced.
But to hear mom tell it, she would say that walking helped her clear her head, that looking around at nature and all that God had made, it would have to get better and somehow, she would be alright in the end.
How true because that’s what happened.
Mom Was Resilient
Mom had to fight through injuries, operations, slights and mean-spirited actions that were thrown her way over the years, but Mom had this movement about her that was always positive and forward thinking.
Mom would battle through a number of physical issues, even in her later years using her stroller and walker as dancing partners when Mom wanted to have fun and boy, did she!!
Mom somehow learned how detrimental it was to hold grudges and slights because it did nothing for her except weigh her down and in spite of some terrible things that came her way by way of people, even those supposedly close to her, never a grudge or harboring of bitterness came out of the woman we call Bumble Bea.
Mom Was A Nurturer
As I said before, our house was the happening spot growing up. I have only realized more in the later years of mom’s life and since she’s been gone how much of a reality that was/is.
But it didn’t stop there.
When I ran my youth center, after dad passed away, mom came everywhere and was at most things we had going on.
Mom became one of my prized volunteers as she became grandma for so many who needed the affirmation and love of a nurturer.
I should say that both my parents were incredible nurturers. Our church youth camp and youth conventions symbolized this because they both felt it was more important to show up for our events than theirs.
Friends were more inclined to ask when and if my parents were going to show up for the week of camp or the weekend of convention. They always had a crowd of young people surrounding them.
Mom, in one of her last summers coming to youth camp took a scared, troubled, deeply scarred teenage girl, who wanted to go home as soon as she arrived on the grounds, and I’ll never forget her words to this girl. “Come, you’re with me this week; you’re going to have the time of your life!”.
That was the Monday; by Wednesday, this scared, troubled girl had the biggest smile you could have ever wished for and more importantly, because of conversations with Mama Mills, she felt hope!!
That’s what Mom could and would do!!!
Mom Was Joy Unspeakable
It was hard to be upset, cranky or mad when you would be around mom. Dumb jokes, crazy singing, laughing, smiling, mixing it up to calm the waters, praying with us, loving us, finding enjoyment in the littlest things were a Beatrice trademark.
Mom would be as excited about a bowl of chicken noodle soup as she would have been over a steak and potatoes.
How many times would we be out for an appointment, and she would make a new friend… Especially when we had multiple places to go, and her line would be that we need to get to know that person….
Fine if we didn’t have a deadline but that was mom. She would make even the most miserable person have to crack a grin at the very least!
Mom Was A Jesus Follower
Besides the incredible heritage of her character, to that end, I am thankful that both dad and mom were Jesus followers. Not just in name but in action and deed. They lived exactly what they believed, and it bore itself out on the pages of their/her life.
From reading us scripture until we could for ourselves, to teaching us, to modelling to/for us, we had it good.
Sometimes, one could look over the fence and think the grass was really greener on that side but when I think of it…..
We didn’t have a lot, but we had everything we needed because of my parents and what they gave us were the tools for life that would stand the test of time.
If mom could phrase her relationship with Jesus, I think it would go something like this:
I got the best deal ever in “The Great Exchange”:
I gave Jesus my mess, my missing of His mark, and he gave me right standing with God. Totally underserved but so grateful.
I gave Him my broken, wounded life, pains, hurts, and He gave me His beauty.
I gave Him my hopelessness and He gave me His hope.
I gave Him my sadness and He gave me His joy.
I gave Him my disorder, havoc, upheaval, my old ways of doing things, and He gave me a new nature—His nature—and His peace.
So, on this Mother’s Day weekend, I am still a part of my mom’s tribe and how I wish I could feel those wrinkly hands rub my face again or hear a really corny joke or silly laugh or hear her pray for me but I cherish and relish every memory that comes to mind any and every day.
May this Beatrice Tribe moment encourage you in loss or in celebration of your mom.
Hopefully, some of this recounting will ignite good thoughts of your mom on this weekend!
I included a memories video shortly after mom passed away plus a silly clip because well you know Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day and I am thankful for being in Mom’s Tribe!
Walking the tribe road with you!!!
Dave
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