But sir, you don’t understand; they’re taking away my chance to pass the exam. They won’t let me have the memory aid so I can finish my work!! They failed me!!!” Said the young man who conveniently forgot that the math specialist had been trying for a month to help him put together a couldn’t miss memory aid or that he had begged off the last 2 weeks of review…
But before we throw that young man under the bus or the mirror he had not been looking into, I think we all need a refresher in looking into our own mirror.
Forward Friday is all about the man or the woman in the mirror. There are lessons to be learned by stopping and having a look at what’s reflecting back at us. Many times, a little introspection is a good thing to propel us confidently into the future!! So why not??? And as always, there is good news medicine at the end!!
Let’s Get Into This!!!
Our society has become an increasingly victim-based existence or so it seems; it appears that no one ever wants to take little or any responsibility for the actions they’ve created.
From governments who create messes through legislative means, bills, budgets etc. and when those things they’ve done fail, it is an amazing thing to hear blame from previous governments or some other entity that created the problem everyone gets saddled with.
But It Pops Up Everywhere:
-A friend who is a professor at a college in the city still receives frantic calls from mothers begging for an extension because Rover ate Johnny or Cindy’s homework... (yes, still happens in 2023)
-The company that makes whatever mistake (you can fill in the blank) and yet, they try and dodge and shift like they did nothing and someone else has it wrong…
When I was talking to the young man regarding the exam issue, it occurred to me that the exam problem was actually a symptom of a greater problem and that is the issue of not paying any attention to the mirror.
It’s funny; we’ll look at a mirror to get dressed, fix our hair, do our makeup, check to make sure there’s nothing in our teeth but probably the most important aspect of the mirror being self-reflection and…… we either ignore, don’t notice or turn away….
Michael Jackson sang a song called Man In The Mirror
Some of the lyrics are..
I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could've been any clearer If we wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change.
Its tough…. Because sometimes, we’re not liking what we are seeing from the inside out but…. This is good because change can come when we stop… look and take inventory... then make some changes...
As I was chatting with this young man regarding the exam mess, I said some things that are worth repeating...
I was saying that even though the moment means that he failed his math exam, there are far reaching consequences if he didn’t stop acting like a victim and take ownership.
I was telling him of those I’ve counseled or mentored through the years and because they ignored the mirror in the lesser moments, when the bigger issues came up 10, 15 years later, life seemingly just blew up…
But Did It Just Blow Up?
Was the real reason why Jack wanted a divorce was because Cindy burnt the toast? That’s a reason?????
Was the real reason why Tina wants nothing to do with Burt is because he’s still leaving his clothes on the floor years later?
Is the reason why every job Frank has had turned into a disaster and it was always someone else’s fault true?
Was the reason why Tammy seemingly has few friends that she can keep is because everyone else is overly finicky, even though Tammy hasn’t kept or had a close friend since middle school?
There’s something about that mirror; that the mirror can’t speak in one sense but it’s reflections reverberate loudly but we have to pay attention to the reverberations for something positive to occur in our lives.
So.. 2 Personal Mirror Stories:
The first is funny and it also says that sometimes, the mirror could be someone put in our path to help us see something we might be missing...
The Evergreen…
So when I was 17 through 20 years old, I wasn’t thrilled with girls. A few heartbreaks and well, sports and hanging out with the guys seemed like a more fun thing than to get another girl to give the “you’re a great friend” commentary.
My cologne at the time was called Pino Sylvestre and…. It smelled like an evergreen tree! Yes, friends, like an evergreen tree.
But I didn’t care or so I thought.
Then one night after church, a friend asked to go for coffee. He had the coffee; I had pop.
It was when he said, “I don’t think any girls will ever be attracted to an evergreen tree save Christmas and you’re not a tree and it’s June!”… Well, that got my attention.
I mean now years later I’m thinking, “What was I thinking?” but I’m thankful for the mirror of a friend who was able to shine some light to where I was missing something obvious to everyone else..
And…. I don’t wear Pino Sylvestre any longer for the few who may think otherwise!!!!!!
That Time I Failed A Class…
High school had been for the most part easy or to put it another way, while I worked, I didn’t work at the pace that I could have. Did well but….. it could have been a notch higher so to speak.
CEGEP came and while I dealt with health issues over 2 years, (back issues) for the most part, I was doing alright.
Then came the ethics course in my 2nd full year of school after recovering from the surgeries. No excuse but it was beyond dull and really didn’t make much sense.
Because I was working part time, I would miss some classes. Wasn't in the cafeteria playing cards or at the arcade, just working a lot but it was a choice that I was making.
Enough that when I sat to write the final, because there was so much that I missed, I failed the course…
I was beyond embarrassed, so much so that I didn’t tell my parents for a while… I was shocked….
But… that mirror had been speaking, trying to get my attention for a while that if I didn’t make an adjustment as to how I was doing things in regard to time management, something like this could happen.
I remember sitting in my room that night before I went to bed, and I made a vow to God and myself.
While there might be someone smarter, someone in a seemingly better position of any kind, I will never again give half hearted effort, that my integrity to accomplish tasks and to do things with excellence and enthusiasm would be the only desired path to follow.
It’s not been perfect, but I’ve had more evenings to lay my head down at night knowing I gave my best then the other way.
Thankfully, it was mirror lesson learned early to help me grow into my future…….
And Now For Some Good Medicine…….
There’s a fascinating story in the Bible about a tax collector named Zacchaeus... It’s amazing how these accounts have so many applications.
This story in the Bible illustrates how Jesus becomes the mirror for the man in question.
The story of Zacchaeus, that tax collector. We’ll never be excited about the tax man ever and Zacchaeus was clearly not in the people’s good books for how he had treated them.
But Then Came The Mirror Moment.
Luke 19:1-10 Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way. When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled. Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. For the Son of Man[a] came to seek and save those who are lost.”
Because of the mirror moment, Zacchaeus turned immediately from the life he led that was a weight and burden to others (himself too) to having a new heart, a new life!!
Jesus Is a Mirror: In the mirror of God's Word, we can see where we need to change—and if we want to and it’s a big if we want to choice, we can allow God to re-align our hearts with His.
“The fundamental purpose of God's Word is to give us true self-knowledge; it is a real mirror.
A hearer, a listener is like a man/woman who goes to the mirror and examines himself/herself. He/she does so with care and concern, in great detail, because that is the only way one can get a true perspective of what the mirror is reflecting.
Many a man’s/woman’s reputation would not know their character if they met on the street.
So, when we stop and think about our mirror, I wonder what message it’s delivering to us? Good, not so good or anything in between, it worth paying attention to so we can be the best we can be.
As we are walking into the summer months and life slows down a little, maybe our ears will be more in tune to pay attention to the call to take a look and see where we are and who we are…. There’s always something new to learn about ourselves….
Final Thought:
When I finally mustered up the courage to chat with my dad about the failed course, I didn’t get the reaction I was expecting…
While a little surprised, he said in words to the effect, “what happens next will go a long way in determining whether or not the lesson was learned.”
That was it; no long sit down but it was a confirmation that what I decided I was going to and not going to have happen in the future that night sitting on the edge of bed was cemented in that 10 minute conversation.
The mirror always is sending us messages; I’m still learning to listen well because everyone is better for it when I do!
Mirror Reflections; walking the road of progress!!!
Dave
#ForwardFriday #TheMirrorSpeaks #PayingAttention #Evergreen #Perspectives #Blog #Speaker #Progress2023 #Character #ManInTheMirror #ChangeWays #CourageToChange
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