Ever have those square plug round hole moments? Where we have these pre-formed, pre-fabricated ideas on what something looks like or is like?
I’ve had many over the years only to find that I didn’t have the handle on whatever that “Thing” was…
And so it goes when we talk about mental health issues and by the number of questions that our last post conjured up, it is important to reflect on the many faces of what depression/mental health struggles could look like.
So this Forward Friday has some things you may already know of but awareness, sensitivity and being our brother/sister’s keepers really matter.
And it almost goes without saying but it needs to be said, please, please, please, if you are struggling, it’s okay to be in a struggle but you do not have to go it alone.
As hard as it may seem, take a step to reach out; sometimes, the door that seemed so hard to crack open, once opened can reveal a new horizon that the darkness hid for seemingly so long…
While It’s True That Depression Has Suicide Notes And Pill Bottles Associated With It, It’s Also
Spending All Day In Bed
There are many psychological reasons why a person may not feel as though they have the energy or motivation to get out of bed in the morning.
Depression, stress, anxiety or lack of sleep can make staying in bed a tempting option. However, many times, staying in bed can worsen some symptoms of depression and insomnia. if we can, it's to try to get up at the same time each day.
When a person is finding stress, anxiety, or depression overwhelming, here’s one idea.
Instead of focusing on all of the tasks or duties for the entire day, a person can try to focus on the next few steps alone.
To try to concentrate on getting up, getting to the bathroom, then getting dressed, and so on, without thinking of the day as a whole. Breaking the day down into manageable goals can make it seem the idea of getting up less overwhelming.
Faking A Smile
If we picture a depressed person as someone who can’t stop crying, who is exhausted, who doesn’t want to socialize, or who has stopped taking care of their health or appearance, we may be right.
However, depression can also look like an A student, a social butterfly, or a consummate professional. The most pulled-together, on-top-of-everything, energetic gregarious person we know could be suffering from depression.
How is it possible that someone could be depressed without showing any symptoms? Some call it “smiling depression.”
We could also think of it as a type of high-functioning depression.
People who have smiling depression do experience symptoms, but they mask or internalize the symptoms so that they’re not obvious to others.
Here's one statement that people who have smiling depression will understand.
“I Don’t Want to Upset Anyone Else”
People with smiling depression may feel responsible for other people’s feelings as well as their own.
For example, a person with smiling depression may not want people to feel worried or their friends to feel burdened or bored by their problems.
Keeping up the smiling façade doesn’t do anything to alleviate the depression, but it does seem to keep others around them happy.
Smiling depression is deceptive.
While people with smiling depression may look like they’re going through their lives successfully, they’re still experiencing all of the negative effects of depression.
Smiling depression can lead to other health problems so it is important to learn and recognize subtle signs of smiling depression so we can help ensure that the person with depression gets the help they need.
I know this one all too well...
Overeating Or Not Eating At All
In North America, about 3.5% of women and 2% of men suffer from binge eating disorder. It’s characterized by frequent episodes of excessive eating.
Many generally equate anorexia as the most troubling eating disorder but overeating is as dangerous and pervasive as not eating at all.
More specifically, it’s defined by quickly consuming a large number of calories that would take most people two hours to finish. Binge eating can be diagnosed when at least three of these symptoms are present:
Having large amounts of food very quickly
Eating until you are uncomfortably full
Continuously eating even after you feel full
Eating by yourself to hide the amount of food you’re consuming
Feeling disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating
People with depression seek different tactics to shake those feelings of sadness.
To boost our mood, we start munching. When a couple of bites of food don’t suppress our feelings, we keep reaching for more with the hope that some amount will bring us satisfaction. Before we know it, you have overeaten.
If depression is not properly treated, these episodes can happen again and again.
Feeling like we lack control
Guilty or regretful for eating too much at once
Feeling disgusted with our self.
These feelings, along with emotional detachment or numbness, are what defines depressive overeating.
Some little tricks that one can do to help ourselves out in a crisis.
Reducing stress: Stress can trigger overeating and it can trigger depression, so it can make both conditions worse. Easier said than done but we can try to work towards shifting some of those stressors.
Exercise regularly: Exercising can help us feel better about our body, reduce stress, and help alleviate some of the depression we sometimes feel.
Avoid temptation: If we know that we’re prone to binging after a long day, don’t keep any bad-for-us foods lying around. By making them less accessible, we can reduce overeating and focus on other coping mechanisms to help us fight those urges.
(We "Don't" have ice cream in the house save special occasions and it's a good thing)
Some stress is unavoidable and the best we can do at times is to manage it.
Some things are within our control.
Changing simple things in our life can add up and greatly reduce our overall stress.
Set Limits
Sometimes we may bite off more than we can chew and before we know it, we’re overwhelmed. It can be hard to juggle the many activities and people in our life, whether it’s work, school, family, friends, or whatever we have going on.
Learning how to say “no” is important so we don’t stretch yourself too thin.
Be realistic and know our limits and be firm with them. We’ll be healthier and happier for it.
(It's taken a long time but I've figured out "No" is a good word)
Involve Other People
We cannot be afraid any longer to be talking to our spouse/significant other, children, parents, friends, and coworkers, counselor.
It's not easy but having people in our corner knowing that we’re working to reduce the amount of stress we deal with, and asking them for help is a powerful thing to do.
Be open to their advice and help.
Don’t be afraid to share your feelings.
Seeing a therapist or psychologist to talk things out is not a dumb idea at all.
Talking through a problem or conflict can help us better understand it and how we can learn to handle and cope with things in the future.
Be Active
It’s easy to skip exercise when we’re stressed, but exercise is good for our physical health.
It helps combat the negative effects of stress on our body and is good for our mental health.
Meeting negativity with a positive reaction. A positive attitude can help us when we feel like we’re slipping back into feeling overwhelmed.
Cracking Jokes Or Being The Class "Clown"
Many a time, the class clown is hurting and in many instances, once we scratch past the surface of wisecracks and wit, there a lot of times exists a mountain of depression and anxiety.
For most, it’s a continuous battle, and jokes sometimes is the only relief.
Being the clown or joker so to speak is a way of being in control
See, when we’re making fun of our self, we’re in effect steering the ship. We’re no longer at the hands of the high school bullies or the slew of ignorant coworkers or whatever the thing is that is making us feel the way we do.
Laughter takes the power back
Many jokers will tell us they grew up feeling hopelessly inadequate, hideously ugly, meekly small and feeling insignificant.
Taking on the role as the class clown at school is the ultimate way for the troubled kid to gain popularity.
What's the best way to reclaim your power and gain recognition beyond being the token punching bag? Making people laugh of course.
Which is why so many class clown types are vulnerable to numbing themselves with all sorts of substances, for they have a hard time putting a halt to the never-ending stream of thoughts and ideas that fly around in their head.
It’s so sad our society puts so much shame around depression. Throughout history, many of the class clown/funny person types have been synonymous with mental illness.
So many of the brightest creatures have suffered in silence to their detriment.
People will hide the fact they're feeling low so not to be thought of as "shameful."
What is a more effective way to mask the fact that we’re feeling hopelessly, low, empty and sad than to crack jokes?
What better way to provide our self with a quick fix to our impossibly deep sorrow than to get people laughing in a otherwise silent room?
The effects of making another person laugh makes us feel instantly better -- and the results are addictive.
Sadness is connected to feeling isolated. One of the worst parts of depression is the endlessly lingering sensation that we’re all alone in the depths of our despair.
That we're the only person who has ever felt the way we're feeling right now..... But we're not......
This is not a comprehensive list; just another starting point to advance a conversation about caring for those who seemingly are alright or not but we want to nurture a thought progression of not taking it for granted that everything is alright with everyone but it’s not always alright.
Please check in on friends, family, coworkers even the ones who seem to have it all together but many times, they are the ones who hide the hurt, pain the best.
And again, if you are struggling, feeling the darkness moving in or all around you, reach out, as hard as it may seem; you don’t have to fight this alone.
Good Medicine
I’m so glad during some of my dark times, I had a heavenly Father who didn’t let go of me even at the worst of my dark times.
Here’s a couple of verses that held me together, even while feeling more than fragile but these words helped me and I hope they help you today!
Pass them along to someone who may need some love today!!
Psalms 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.
Isaiah 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
We're in this together and I believe that the darkness, that black hole type cloud can change and we can see new colors that were always there; we can start to see them now!
Dave
Comments