Do You Ever Just Feel Overwhelmed?
We've been living in the middle of crazy times and let's be honest, life can sometimes be overwhelming even at the best of times. Who would have thought that a few short years ago that we would be trying to resume to normal life now.. as if anything is quite normal again?
The anxiety, mental strain, frustration of seemingly being in a quick sand type of time period has amped up in many an anxiousness that has been creeping up for a while now but for many, the walls may feel like they are starting to close in.
It's also saying that we should, especially now not take it for granted that everyone is okay. Reaching out in any way possible to connect with friends, family, co workers to check in is so important always but especially now.
Forward Friday is simply saying that we matter, many of us have some sort of struggle that we deal with, we don't have to keep our pain to ourselves, reaching out is a good thing. And as always, there is good news medicine at the end!
Let's Get Into This!
So.... it is sometimes a little unnerving to talk about some of our own insecurities, the battles we face because what will people think? How will they perceive us now? Will they look at us differently or think of us differently because we opened a door on some hard things we've lived through and sometimes, still live through?
I decided it was too important not to and I'd rather take a chance and maybe it could be that one person reading this that will feel that they are not alone, maybe reach out and ask for some help or maybe we will decide to reach out because sometimes, our call, our text, our video chat, our drop in with coffee (hot chocolate) in hand was just what someone needed.
I found it really helped and I don't have to try and be Superman when I'm just Dave and that is perfectly fine, warts and all.
Maybe for some of us, it will give us courage to reach out to say we care and that person matters enough to us that we extend our hands and heart to them. And for those of us who struggle, maybe we can find enough of a voice to reach out to say I need someone to listen to me.
While my story is not focused on the trauma that occurred when I was 7 yrs old but the after effects of that moment, it is worth noting that many have had some sort of an event that has thrown them off.
Some though have just been off for whatever reason and we just can’t seem get the fog out of our minds and life becomes tough.
It’s crazy; I look back and recognize that in my teenager years when my mind started to go crazy, it was like I couldn’t articulate what was going on in my mind but it was like a black hole and I couldn’t figure it out.
I remember many times, mom would come in and asked me what was wrong but I kept saying I didn’t know, I was just scared of how I was thinking and what I was thinking.
Mom would just love on me and many times, she’d say, “Tell it to Jesus”. It wasn't a cop out; I can look back now and realize that when we run out of answers, there is one who has answers and remedies that we truly need.
I realize now that even during some of the hardest moments when the dark thoughts were at their worst, those words and my feeble attempts to say “God help me” were heard so that I didn’t do anything that would have been irreversible.
I’ve posted this before but in light of this week where, especially in Canada, we focus on mental health, it’s worth reposting and I am trusting that whether we need it or share it to and for someone who is struggling, it could be the difference in suffering in silence and finding the beginnings of freedom to really live.
From My First post…June 2018
So we woke up to the news this morning that Anthony Bourdain, famed chef and traveler apparently took his own life. This bookends the earlier story this week that Kate Spade, fashion designer extraordinaire also took her own life.
I have to say that I was in shock this morning as I would regularly watch Bourdain's travels and usually say, "you're a braver man than I" to eat the delicacies of the places he'd visit but it was breaking into the stories behind the places he went to that were fascinating.
I never bought anything for Kelly at Kate Spade because, well because....$$$$$$$$
Never bought anything for Kelly at Kate Spade because, well because..... But Kate obviously had talent and a knack for her craft as evidenced by her brands appeal. But a dark hole is a dark hole and it hurts my heart to think of the pain they, like so many others live through and sometimes, feel there is only one way out.
I know because I lived in that dark hole for a long time.
Sometimes, the dark hole comes because of what someone or something had/has done to us and the dark hole manifests itself from there or sometimes, it's a condition or sometimes, we just don't know and yet it comes. Sometimes, there are no simple Wikipedia answers...
Sometimes, there are no simple Wikipedia answers...
Sometimes, shame becomes us so who wants to say that we only see one color and that color is dark, damp and dingy and it's more than claustrophobic at the best and worst of times?
Who wants to admit that? And sometimes, we can't even explain it to ourselves much less anyone else...
I used to live in the conundrum; helping people feel good about themselves and trying to do my best to put others first but having disturbing, dark hole moments that would threaten to overrun me.
I now know that it was God that kept me together through my dark storms until I was able to receive what I needed to turn a corner.
It also was a caring Police officer that, over 2 summers at a Youth Camp in Ontario would seek me out because he knew that beyond the laughter, the front view and façade, was a deeply troubled young man desperate to find answers to the dark hole.
It was much later that the answers came and while he couldn't answer what I didn't even know at the time, he decided to step in and bring some comfort.
I decided that it was time to speak up because while the world sees the famous who couldn't get out of the black hole so to speak, there are many others daily living in that same darkness who need a helping hand, a safe place to land, to know they are not alone, not a freak, not weird, not a scourge on society, not a burden.
Maybe because in the past, when I did speak up and many have been helped by it, it brought with telling it ridicule, shaming, scorn, the loss of friendships, job possibilities etc. but I realized then as I still do now that I don't have anything to lose (and in some respects, I never had anything to lose then either) and if I can help be a part of a solution for even one person in a small way, well then, it's worth not being afraid of anything or anybody because...
Well.... Because People Matter....
So, many times I've unpacked my journey, my story, a journey of dealing with suicidal thoughts, bulimia, depression and tell it because the dark hole is just like the trap house; it's designed to make one think once they're in, they've got no way out so we've got to live in it but... there is..... we can get out and keep getting out.
If you are living or feel like you are living in a dark place, please take a chance to tell someone... start somewhere even if it feels weird.
I was about to say society but we should bring it home to ourselves that even though life hustles us and social media makes us feel like we're so connected when we may not be as much as we think or believe we are, reaching out and trying to make meaningful connections could be all the difference for someone..
All because we did try and connect; we did go an extra mile to say hey; we did take time for that coffee we're usually too busy to have; we made a call or sent a text or wrote a note (imagine that?!!!)
because it matters... It really does...
My heart not only aches for Anthony's, Kate's, families and friends but the countless other families who have had to endure what they are experiencing.
You may be living or feel like you are in the black hole; believe it or not, there are other colors too... It seems hard to believe but there are.....
So Here’s Some Good News Medicine:
One of my favorite heroes in the Bible was a man by the name of Elijah. He had an impressive resume:
-Fearless, bold and dauntless reformer
-A performer of miracles
-The rain stopped at his word and rain didn't fall in the land for 3 1/2 years.
-An impressive battle against the King's prophets and he not only won but had them taken out.
Only the next picture we see after this great win is Elijah under a broom tree wanting to die because the Queen is enraged for having her prophets killed and wants his head on a platter so to speak.
Elijah...afraid... running for his life. Comes to a broom tree, sits down under it and prays that he might die. He had enough, he says to God He said. Take my life; I am no better that my ancestors. Then he fell asleep.
It's crazy but the same Elijah; fierce, incredible man of faith yet his words, thoughts, emotions and actions are those of someone who would be considered clinically depressed, disillusioned and suicidal.
So.... We many times don't need a laundry list of things to do as we are trying to deal with the black hole.
2 Things That Fly Out To Me That I Think Can Help Us Today.
1 Kings 19:5-8 twice, the angel woke Elijah up to eat because his life wasn't over and he had a journey ahead of him.
So after eating a couple of times, Elijah had enough strength to travel the 40 days to the mountain for his conversation with God.
1. But... He Had To Get Up.
Sometimes, it is the simplest thing(s) that we can do that can slowly start our journey from always seeing dark.
For me, one of my first get up moments many years ago was to go to the tennis courts and hit out.
To channel whatever those feelings were out on the court was a beginning.
To see real change took many other "Get Up" moments but it was one of my starts on the road out of the "Black Hole".
2. Talking Really Helps.
1 Kings 19:9-10 And the word of the Lord came to him: What are you doing here, Elijah?
It is important to note that God does not ask him, why are you here? Or why did you do that? It is my reflection that it is as if God is saying... Elijah, now that you are here, talk to me about what you are doing.......
No condemnation, no nagging, no fear, just talk to me.
Simply, if we are struggling, take a chance to tell someone where you are.... It's not easy but it's a start...
And If you're on the listening end, let's not be know it all's or prescription writers.
Sometimes, the biggest first step for most of us who have or are struggling is if we talk, we need someone to listen.
3. One More Step…Maybe it’s Time To Tell It To Jesus
Matthew 11:28-30
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest
Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
So our society has moved away from the ancient rhythms because well, we’ve become so progressive but have we really progressed like we think we have?
There are so many depressed, frustrated, sad, disillusioned, looking for hope people we encounter every day and I wonder what would happen if we were able to see through a clear prism that the Maker of mankind could be a major part of the remedy for what ails us?
While it’s true that we could have had bad experiences with those who were supposed to represent Him well in the past, that still doesn’t mean He’s not good and actually is enthusiastically interested in every facet and part of our lives…..
It’s definitely worth considering!!!!!!
So, this is a start..... Maybe we can all take something away from these little thoughts to help ourselves or help somebody else but especially now, we need each other more than ever.
You may be living or feel like you are in the black hole; believe it or not, there are other colors too... It seems hard to believe but there are.....
Because sometimes, It's Just Time To See Other Colors....Because The Mind Is Too Precious To Lose
For the brighter days...
Dave
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