Coffee shops are open again, restaurants fully functional, homes can entertain without limits, and it’s all screaming for us to pick up our cup, find our seat and connect..
Forward Friday calls us to do something that has become somewhat foreign; the act and art of connecting or reconnecting…. Wait for it…. in person.
Our society has become a desperately cancelling, unfriend me one where I think if we had a cup in our hand and a seat to sit with someone, our attitudes might be a little different.
Plus at the end as always, some much needed good medicine so come along for a sit-down; we need it!!
Let’s Get Into This!
It’s become so easy from behind a screen, a tablet, smartphone to not be excited with someone else’s opinion or view to announce to the world that we are unfriending someone, or block them, or cancel because we don’t agree with their opinions or thoughts.
To be clear, we are not talking about serious, criminal or dangerous actions, comments etc. We’re talking about relationships with family, friends, people we’re supposedly connected with and the itchy finger has us typing block out, cancel or unfriend because of something that bothers us.
Heck, it’s become a thing that people will break off relationships with a text, IG blast, Facebook Messenger and it’s like we have lost the art of recognizing that we have more commonalities with each other than not. By the way, half the time, Twitter is a dumpster fire! Just sayin’.
One of my friends will not answer their phone; we have to text first and then they will respond and while that may not seem like a big deal on one level, it says that we are losing the ability to spend time with each other to see the common things we have. We have, without realizing it built fabricated walls to keep people away. I mean, why talk anyway?
And yes, this trend has been happening for a few years now but this 2 plus years has taken these moments to another level in so many cases.
It’s like the smartphone, tablet, computer has taken over our humanity and has caused many to partition off people and we don’t keep people at arm’s length any longer; it’s screen length now and that seems like a longer gulf to get across than before.
Could it be that we have lost a lot of what makes us truly human?
Could it be that we have been shuttered for so long that we forget the good that it does us to sit across from someone, even someone we have disagreements with but to have those moments face to face?
And we know that food, coffee, (Hot Chocolate-my favorite) etc. are incredible aids in fostering and helping connections function better than not.
Sometimes, the hard moments seems to be a little less sharp when we sit across from someone with a coke and a muffin or burger in hand.
There is something about taking a seat and realizing that we have more in common that we may want to admit.
Just Got Unfriended The Other Day.
Why? I was asked a question and I thought I gave a balanced view on how I saw things on the particular subject and I even suggested that we should get together and chat.
I got…. An angry emoji, a sick emoji and that was the last I heard of said person.
I got…. An angry emoji, a sick emoji and that was the last I heard of said person.
Friends have told me how some family members have been upset with some of their choices and they received text messages not to bother showing up for Christmas, even though this has been a family tradition for ages… And happy and fun times over the years I might add.
A friend sent messages on Instagram that others could see to mutual friends and because they held opinions that were not the same, after throwing bombs out loud on screen, they threw out the "Unfriend" me line.
Remembering that over the years, this friend would spend countless hours with this friend talking and spending time together over food, coffees, Pepsi etc. working through life but now…..
We have forgotten that we all have seats at the table of life and we have common cups in our hands; to shun, evict people out of our lives emotionally without thinking about what we are really doing causes us to lose even if we tell ourselves we’re doing a great thing.
We have forgotten that we all have seats at the table of life and we have common cups in our hands;
Do we ever think that maybe, one of the reasons why we pull the trigger on cancel, unfriending, blocking is that maybe we’re not quite sure we’re in the right place ourselves and we don’t want to hear different? It’s a possibility worth exploring….
As Easter is approaching, my thoughts kept coming back to common cups and seats at the table and I think there are a couple of takeaways to help us think through our thoughts the next time we want to cancel, unfriend, block those we have been connected to in some way, shape or form (and we’re not talking the dangerous, hateful stuff). Check out the medicine.
Now, For Some Good Medicine
The Last Supper leading up to Good Friday was 3 days away and the scene is moving, haunting, yet laced with so much humanity, care and connection.
At the table with Jesus were his disciples: he has spent the past 3 years coaching them up, leading them, befriending them, spending time with them………
Common Cups, common food and yet at that Last Supper, in one chair sat the disciple who was going to betray him, in another chair sat the one who was going to deny knowing Him 3 times and in the rest of the chairs sat the rest of His chosen inner circle who were going to desert him in 3 short days.
Jesus knew all of that yet, they shared common cups and they had a seat at the table, spent quality time with their leader, not knowing that in a few hours, they were going to bolt from Him.
Even in the middle of knowing what was going to take place, Jesus taught them about the table, about common cups, that it was important to continually gather together to break bread, to remember what they were doing at that table, to remember His sacrifice by drawing near to the table with a seat, to not think it low or not needed that we need to share common cups with each other.
Such grace, such love, such patience to show the disciples and ultimately you and I that while life can be a little bumpy with those we even love and cherish, that table, those seats, the common cups are not to be set aside and forgotten, abandoned because we don’t agree or are frustrated with whoever it is….
I try to imagine what must have gone on in the disciple’s minds as Good Friday progressed and the subsequent lead up to Easter Sunday.
I mean, we know some of those thoughts.
Judas, who couldn’t bear the weight of guilt for what he did to his master went and killed himself.
Peter, was a mess after he heard that rooster sound off a 3rd time and he remembered Jesus’ words and he wept bitterly.
The Bible doesn’t say what the other disciples were thinking but I can only imagine….
“He cared enough that He spent these precious moments with us”, “We shared a common cup, food, bread with Him even though he knew we were going to turn away from Him”, “He wanted us to have a seat at the table”, “His time with us was valued no matter our mistakes, blunders”.
So, with those thoughts in mind, here are a few takeaways.
Again, let’s knock out or off the harmful, dangerous, behaviors and actions because we’re not talking about those things.
-Maybe it’s time to shake off the screens, tablets, smartphones, come away and off of our masks because they have been a hindrance with connections, our lockdown malaise and look to find precious moments to spend with people.
-Maybe it’s time to find Tim’s, Starbucks, Second Cup, McDonald’s again and hang out or anew but start we must.
-Maybe it’s time to find those restaurants or homes again where there are seats at the table with moments to be shared….
-Maybe it’s time to value the time to be spent even with the disagreements on opinions, ideas, subjects because isn’t it the person(s) that matter the most?
So, a thought on the pilgrimage to Easter. Stop canceling, unfriending, blocking (we could even be doing this in our mind which is just as problematic) because we may not agree with someone, especially those who are/have been in our circle.
We all need a seat at the table and if we could see that our cup is just as common as the next person, maybe our evaluation of how we act and treat others could and should change.
I mean think of it; it’s interesting that Jesus has never canceled us and most of us have done our own thing many a time and yet, Easter sounds the clarion call that Jesus wants to share common cups and chairs with us.
Seems kind of sad that we might find it “Okay” to do otherwise to others.
And, it’s a lot harder to cancel, unfriend, block someone when we are sitting across from them, sharing a cup and seat….
Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”.
That’s not just only a literal term but also an action that comes into play and I think on the Road To Easter, maybe it’s time to bring back the common cups in our lives with and for others and, when you begin sitting at tables again, why not on one of those occasions bring an extra seat with you for someone else?
I’m working on bringing common cups and seats with me for others on the Road To Easter; will you join me?
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