The marriage that disintegrated, the kids who have gone crazy and lost their way, the dream job that gets removed by a pink slip or worse, a firing, the loss of a friendship or loss of someone......
These broken dreams moments and more make up walking in the land of Broken Glass....
Some are harder to come back from than others but they still bring about a certain level of brokenness in our lives and............. they, many times just seem to take our breath away..
Forward Friday doesn't try to fix the Broken Dreams but trying to find some solace and help for what we've gone through and the things we will go through can make a difference as we process walking through and coming out on the other side of Broken Dreams.
Let's Get Into This!
Those Broken dreams come in many shapes and sizes:
The promotion we had coming our way but they gave it to someone else.
Working in a seemingly stable company only to get a pink slip saying they don't need us anymore.
Finally took the chance on the new business venture that we put our heart soul, mind and savings into, and it failed.
The furthering of our education dream we were so excited about but that it became impossible.
That house we fell in love with but we lost out to another bidder.
That relationship we thought was for a lifetime but ended in a minute; no explanation or reasoning that made sense but it's done.
The road back from broken dreams is a difficult road. The pain and disappointment can almost seem unbearable.
The "It Seems So Unfair" feeling can be overwhelming.
The feelings of hopelessness feel like someone has us around the neck.
We're looking down that dark tunnel and the proverbial light at the end is in the mist and there is nothing..... Or so it seems...
I've been talking to a couple of friends in the past few weeks and it is interesting how some of the similarities of their stories converge in terms of how do we look at the obstacles broken dreams create in our lives...
In one case, our lives have mirrored each other's over the years in terms of our relationships; the loves won and lost but one thing I didn't encounter was the divorce he suffered through and the trauma of seeing his life flip on its head so to speak.
The thought that while things weren't great, they could never be that bad to the point that one day, one is looking at a person they used to recognize but that person has morphed into someone that is unrecognizable and the trouble about to come is nothing one could have ever imagined could come to their doorstep.
I remember the many phone calls as we live in different cities and just wanting to be there to walk through that dark place with him but not being able to physically but still doing the best with the phone chats.
I'll never forget the Sunday night we were chatting and he said that he was in church that morning... It dawned on him as he listened to the message that he was alive, he could breathe, he couldn't change the decision of another human being, he couldn't try and get them to fall back into Love if that where a thing but what he could do was look at himself and where he could change for the good.
It dawned on him as he listened to the message that he was alive, he could breathe..
That was the night I knew he would come out of this... A little scorched but coming out of this.
And... it was his attitude........ He could choose to look that life while different could get better, he could take care of himself physically and get healthier, he could become emotionally healthy for the day when his family would reconnect with him, he could see that even with those broken dreams and pieces, the sun was still shining on him.
Today, restoration is working its way through his family, his life has been lit up by an incredible woman, soon to be his wife and he sees the bright sides to life.
All because his attitude had a major shift.
My other friend experienced some of the same disappointment I faced being fired from a place of employment that I loved. But in his case, it happened twice.
Many times, broken pieces not only affect us but those around us and especially the 2nd time, this one took a toll on his family.
It took time to come to grips with what happened. A lot of self scrutiny, many times wondering if he had any worth left and what could he do?
Was this an indictment on his abilities and skills? Was his self worth for all intents and purposes a thing of the past?
It took time but there came a point where he decided that the only thing he could change was his outlook on things.
He started walking, becoming more active with the time he had on his hands and slowly but surely, he recognized that just because someone did something that affected him greatly in no way had to define the next stage of his life...
Today, he is in the final stages of becoming a police officer and I am proud of how he has dipped his foot in the water of life again and all because he changed his outlook.. Even when the broken dreams seemed like all that could have been seen...
Beginning Again....Is It Possible??
Are we in a place now where we’re wondering if we can begin again? Most of us have been there. Perhaps it was a relationship that failed. We had such high hopes; it looked as though we had found the one we had hoped for so long—and then, it fell apart.
Or was it that the longed-for relationship never happened, and we’re on that road back from giving up on that dream?
Many have been on the road back from a broken marriage. How sad the statistics of our society: More than 50% of our marriages break up. Life looks dismal as we walk on the road back from that broken dream. There are ruins all around us—so many plans now lost; so many promises broken; so many lives harmed.
Oh, the list is virtually endless. Some broken dreams are more devastating than others, but each time the results are very similar. We have to make the journey back from our broken dream, and sometimes it’s so hard to put one foot in front of the other. It seems so useless to even start down that road, because we’re convinced or seemingly convinced we'll never make it back.
Some Good Medicine:
Ever been on the road back from a broken dream? My guess is most of us have at one point. In fact, some of us could be there right now. I know what it’s like; I’ve been there.
So I have 2 food for thought ideas to help us if we've dealt with, are dealing with or when the day comes that we do have to deal with a broken dream, we can be encouraged to have some hope to move forward.
Letting The Dream Die-It's Hard To Let Go
Admitting That The Dream Was Important.
Many a time, we try to explain away disappointment instead of recognizing that our feelings about it mattered and matter. It's okay to grieve a dream that will never happen, to admit that this dream was important to us.
And then, we have to process to begin to let go.
The 5 stages of grief seems to make a lot of sense when it comes to dreams dying and facing this reality.
1. Denial – refusing to let the dream die
2. Anger – Feelings of injustice that the dream is being taken away
3. Bargaining – Trying to make deals with God to get the dream back
4. Depression – Mourning the loss of the dream
5. Acceptance – Moving on and making room for a new dream.
6. Hope – We get to hope for better things. Yes, a dream has died; it is worth grieving. But when if ever is our faith made real? In moments like these. We get to experience real hope.
If a dream is worth dreaming, it’s worth properly grieving.
Opportunity In The Brokenness
I’ve discovered that on the road back from a broken dream, there are opportunities for growth like few other times in our lives.
That is when we are most likely to look up; to recognize our weakness and shortcomings; in my case, I began to pay attention to what God had to say to me.
It can be the most significant time in our lives for developing spiritual muscle, for growing in grace, for strengthening our faith.
I’ve also noticed that it’s possible to miss all that the new roads have for us on this rough road. We all have a choice as we journey back from a broken dream.
We can accept it at some point and grow from it, and eventually we’ll make it back. We’ll discover there is indeed light at the end of that tunnel.
Or, we can choose to take one of many detours of additional pain on this road back from a broken dream and end up in bitterness, anger and despair.
It’s always been about our choice.
What the big encouragement walking into the weekend is to remember whether you're in the middle of a broken dream, coming out of one or this is plainly good medicine, stay on the road!!
I can look back and see where I am now and it's not where I thought I would be but I am still in a good place, it's healthy, it's viable and I can live life to the fullest in spite of the past broken glass-broken dreams moments.
As one of my friends would say; If God can walk with me through, storms, sunshine and rain, hills and valleys, then it's also true that God can and will walk with us every step of the way and bring us back to hope and joy and life again if we allow Him too.
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying
That to me is good news!!
Just because the dream is dead, doesn’t mean the dreamer is.
The heart of a man/woman plans his/her way, but the Lord establishes his/her steps.
It's not easy Walking In The Land Of Broken Glass with Broken Dreams but we don't have to experience it alone and...... There is good medicine to help bring us back to Hope and Life Again!!
On the road with you....
Dave
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