Life sometimes just takes our breath away. Many times, it is a joyous moment….. The holiday getaways, the wedding day, the mountains, lakes, spending time with great friends, new promotions, the birth of a baby, nature and the list goes on……. Those moments are priceless. But there are the other, I didn’t see it coming moments…..
Forward Friday is not about an answer to every Chaotic moment we will have faced or will potentially face in our lives but to help give some perspective on how we can cope, learn something to help us for when those moments come that do indeed take our breath away and as always, there is some good news on the horizon that we can all use….
Let’s Get Into This:
What do you do when your spouse/significant other calls it quits and says they never loved us or want to do something else and we are not in the equation?
We find out that our child is very sick and or they have gone crazy and we don’t seem to know who they are anymore.
We are being fired/let go and it’s a shock to the system…….
A financial hardship hits us so deeply that it seems like we are suffocating quickly and taking on water like a capsizing boat?
We lose a parent, friend, sibling that passes away whether sudden or it was coming but we still didn’t see it coming?
What if we became sick or had a series of health, physical, mental health issues that were threatening to derail the path that we seemed to be walking?
One of my former students and his wife who’ve become good friends over the years lost their 10 year old son last year. I drop in to his restaurant and his sister’s restaurant every so often to check in on them. What do you say when the pain is still so acute?
One of my dear friends is fighting a ferocious battle with cancer and something she wrote 2 weeks ago was the thought idea for this week’s post.
Part of what she wrote was this:
FACT: I NEVER saw this coming this year!!!!!
FACT: Chemo is tougher than I could EVER imagine
FACT: I thank God every morning when my eyes open.
I’m believing that she will eventually come through on the other side of this fight and we have agreed to do an interview of some sort in the future that I’m sure will be a great source of inspiration and blessing to many!!
So, it would be easy to simply stay in our lane and just say well, that’s just the way it is and deal with it….
The Thoughts We Think Because Of A “Didn’t See It Coming Moment”…….
I must be a failure…
I am worthless…
I must have done something wrong to deserve this….
I must have angered God….
There must be something wrong with me…….
How could they do this to me?
Will I ever come out of this?
Is there an end to the misery?
Will I ever see the clearing in the forest?
The helpless feeling of seeing someone suffer in any way, shape or form and not really being able to do much to stem the hurt, pain, frustration, loss…..
I don’t know if there are definitive answers to all of these questions but I do know that in many if not all of these “Didn’t See It Coming” moments and others, the only way through is to go through….
The only way through is to go through….
Some of these moments feel like going through Fire, Floods, Stormy Weather but I’ve jotted down some things that have helped me over time and still do…. Maybe they can be of some sort of comfort and maybe a possible “See A Way Forward” for whatever we may be going through now and in the future.
There Will Be “Didn’t See It Coming Changes That Happen
I’ve generally been a creature of habit that thrives on routine, but there have been many times when routine goes out the window and reality kicks in a whole new experience. But I’ve realized that sometimes, I’ve had to learn to be ok with some of those “Didn’t see it coming” moments.
Breathe… and breathe some more.
There have been some things as time has moved along that I now am glad that change did indeed come, even the painful moments…
Sometimes, it was for my good but at the time, I didn’t see it that way.
Some “Didn’t See It Coming" Change Will Be Challenging. VERY Challenging.
Many of this moments are very trying, but in time, a lot of these moments can be rewarding. We might discover a strength we didn’t know we had, walking through the pain, maybe even limping but still walking with some strength that we didn't know we had.
We learn that we have greater empathy for others that we didn’t know was in us; we can give comfort because we have been comforted. Perseverance becomes a new strength in our life that even though the fire was hot and intense, somehow, we didn’t get burned or swallowed up.
Many Times, The “Didn’t See It Coming Helps Us Grow….
Many times, the difficulty of the struggle, makes it seem almost impossible to work to move through it. It’s hard and the putting one foot in front of the other seems daunting in many cases, but move forward, however slowly we must.
I remember for 6 years in a row having surgeries, relationship blow ups, and disappointment in my early career of employment, a serious car accident and just thinking, Will it ever be different for me?”
I remember in the emergency ward tied down to the back board asking my dad if this was going to keep on happening..
One defeat after another…… Dad was so calm and said that I needed to breathe. He did say, “Trouble won’t last always, son”. And he was right.
He did say, “Trouble won’t last always, son”. And he was right.
If those years did anything, they taught me perseverance, and the understanding that I could be a shoulder to lean on or be there for someone in their times of need and distress.
Good Medicine For The “Didn’t See It Coming" Moments
Having said all of the above, the greatest source of my strength going through the many seasons of pain, frustration, distress has been my relationship with Jesus.
Funny how good medicine, the tried and true methods still work no matter the season, time or century.
I think one of my favorite verses in the Bible is this one from Matthew 11:28-30.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
There is no mention that we’ll never have any burdens, sadness, sickness, disappointments, frustrations, hurts to carry but the best part of this is that not only do we not have to carry our burdens alone, when we do stand up to continue our life journey, in the exchange of weight of what we’ve been carrying, the promise is that together, Jesus can help make the burden much lighter.
The best part of this is that not only do we not have to carry our burdens alone
It’s An Amazing Exchange.
Some have said to have relationship with God is like having a crutch; while the relationship is a pretty good crutch (ask anyone who has had a broken leg/ankle, sprain, fracture etc. and they might say, “Crutch, Thank you!”), I’d say it is an Anchor to grip when the storms get real rough.
I wish we had all the reasons why some things happen the way that they do and this side of eternity, we may never know the full weight and impact, but while we are going through it, I hope, pray and believe that when we need it most, we will “See A Way Forward” possibilities.
I sent this song to my dear friend Cheryl who is battling right now a little while ago and I thought it could be of encouragement to you as well!
This is how I fight my battles!!!!!
Walking along the road of broken glass with you….Even When We “Didn’t See It Coming!”
Dave
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