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  • Writer's pictureMillsman

Forward Friday… When Those Voices In Our Head Get Too Loud… Fear Factor Moments


There’s always going to be noise; the question is and will always be, who and what gets our attention? Especially when it comes to fear, fear is a crippler, fear is a destabilizer, fear can bring the strongest to one’s knees so to speak. Forward Friday takes on the Fear Factor, the voices that come at us and what stays in our heads.. Making the connection that many voices are fear dripped and we need to figure out how to tune those voices down or out. As always, there’s good news at the end.

So, Let’s Get Into This!!


I’ll never forget it; the building engulfed in flames.. We’re passing by on the bus and the bus slowed down for what seemed like an eternity.



I could feel my hands starting to shake and I gripped Mom’s hand real hard. We got home and the news on TV trumpeted the found body of the Quebec cabinet minister, killed by terrorists in Quebec, found in the trunk of a car.


At 9 years old, I was riveted in fear, so much so that I couldn’t sleep in my own bed that night and for the next 2 nights. Finally, on the 3rd night that I wanted to sleep in Mom and Dad’s bed, Dad sat me down and said these words; “Listen to my voice; no one is coming to get you, you do not have to be afraid anymore. You can sleep in your bed tonight. You will be fine!”




“Listen to my voice; no one is coming to get you, you do not have to be afraid anymore. You can sleep in your bed tonight. You will be fine!”

Voices…Voices In Head…Voices Coming At Us….

Fear is a strange thing; we can use fear to propel us, to push us forward and conquer the moments..

But fear also can freeze us, stop us from our destiny, hold us in neutral and far worse, we walk in reverse. Fear from the outside creates all sorts of havoc. Cases In Point:

In the last Canadian federal election, we found out that the present ruling government decided to use the politics of fear and division to scare parts of the electorate to vote them back in for another term. Fear is a destabilizer. And words matter and when used with fear, the results are never in favor of the people. (By the way, it's always occurred to me that when all one can do is tear down someone else's thoughts, ideas, platform, way of thinking without standing on one's own free standing position(s) etc, it means that what they stand on may not be all that they think it is.)


This past 2 ½ years has been a classic lesson in the art of fear projection.

Projection by governments, officials and the media that was designed to fear people into submission.

The sad thing is that now, more and more evidence is showing that a lot of what was propagated was fear without all the substance of what was initially broadcast as “Trust Us” but the projection caused many to shrivel up as it were on the inside, gripped with fear and in some cases, still grips people.

It’s almost as if being in fear cannot be shaken.

I work with high school students and we have some who, in the past 2 years have, because they have spent an inordinate amount of time alone, in their rooms, listening to voices who incite fear cannot leave their rooms at home.


Some, who have ventured out of their home, cannot be in a room with other students because they are afraid that someone is looking at them, judging them etc.


The single person who desperately is looking for connection but because of past losses, failures, is afraid to reach out and take a chance because well, fear says that they will get the same result. The struggle with insecurity and the fear of rejection.


Does Any Of This Sound Familiar?


“I’m afraid of getting sick and what it could do to me?”

“Where is the money going to come from to pay the bills?”

“Do I need to get another job?”

“Am I a good enough?”

“Will I ever have the family I’ve so longed for?”

“What will they think of me?”

“What are they going to say about me?”

“What will they do if I don’t do what they want?”

“What if they reject me?”

“What if they don’t like me?!”


But Fear Doesn’t Have To Win……..

Fear may make us feel like we have to stay stuck in the “fear” club but we, at some point must address our feelings.

I have a friend who will say from time to time, “If It’s new, it isn’t true”. Meaning, sometimes, we look for the “Magic Bullet” to fix the “Fear Issue” when many times and in most cases, some of taking the fight to Fear is right in our hands.


So here are some tried and true simple, yet effective ways to combat the Fear element we all face at various times in our lives.


Battled Tested Ideas


Call a friend… Having some Tribe cohorts you can walk the road of life with, especially during the difficult moments really makes a difference.


Take a deep breath and do something we enjoy. Reading, biking and the list goes on.


Go for a walk or get some sort of physical activity you like. The gym and the hockey rink is golden for this guy…


Creating and keeping reminders of the good things of how we’ve been blessed so we can go back and remember when life may seem hopeless.


Be thankful! It may be difficult but start speaking the things we are thankful for.


If we can, take some time, just for ourselves to recharge and refocus.


Face our fear head on. We are stronger than it is. It’s easy to wallow in pity when we are up against whatever it is. Face it and know good does come around the corner.


Laugh, enjoy the moments, smile!!!


Now, For Some Good Medicine!


We have an internal mechanism that seeks direction, we learn to tune our ears to voices and in the case of fear, we need a voice that is stronger than fear to help us recognize that fear need not control us.

The Bible says that fear is not from God; in fact, in 2 Timothy 1:7. The Bible says that, He, speaking of God has given us power, love, a calm and well-balanced mind, discipline and self-control!


So, we have to make a decision that we won’t let fear be the ruling factor—we will not live with fear! Instead, we can learn how to live courageously by the grace and strength we have in finding trust in God.


When I’ve struggled to overcome different fear moments in my life, I have always found encouragement by talking to God and finding relief, consolation in reading the Bible because God’s Word has power to set us free from fear!

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28 To Come To Him all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens and He would give us rest.

So simple and profound yet we’ll scratch, claw, fight and still not be further along because there are many times when we need someone greater who can handle anything we would throw at him.


Last Thoughts:


Sometimes, the voices in our heads and around us can be real loud when it comes to fear. I think a key thing in finding peace, relief, comfort is recognizing that peace and calm are not loud, obnoxious, overbearing but seeks our good.




There is this incredible story in 1 Kings 19 regarding the prophet Elijah.

He had just won this incredible battle, taking out the King and Queen’s men and in the next switch of fate, he runs to the desert to die because they were coming for him to kill him.


In his fear, despair and depression, an angel comes and gives him food and water because he didn’t know it but he was heading for an encounter with God at Mount Sinai.

When he went up into the mountain, God asked him what he was doing there? He explained about the trouble he had gotten into. (Like God didn't know already)


God asked Elijah to go out in front of the mountain and stand before him.

There was a mighty windstorm, strong enough to shatter rocks, then an earthquake, then fire but the Lord wasn’t in those moments.

But he was in the gentle whisper and Elijah heard his voice.


Fear is a big mouth; Fear is a bully; Fear isn’t a Heavenly construct; Fear is no friend of ours.

When fear wants to creep in and wants to take over… remember some of the above and most importantly, remember that we don’t have to stay stuck in fear; God is more than willing and able to give us a calm resilience that we can move forward and His voice is reassuring and kind!



Does the tribe we walk out life with encourage courage, to use battle tested ideas so we can recognize that Fear is a liar and not let it gain control over us any longer?




Walking back the noisy voices; I’m listening for the voice that gives me strength, calm and a well-balanced mind.

Why not walk that Road with me!!!!!!!


Dave





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