It’s been said that at the table where we eat, (dining room table, lunch counter, supper, coffee shop, picnic table) is the great equalizer.
By that it’s meant that whether we are rich, poor, high society, social welfare, big & tall, short and thin, big eater or celery stick muncher, we all need to eat and the table where we sit to eat is the great equalizer.
I think one of the reasons why I enjoy sitting at a cross section of tables, conversing with different people is that there is always something to learn when listening to people’s stories.
I think one of the reasons why I enjoy sitting at a cross section of tables, conversing with different people is that there is always something to learn when listening to people’s stories.
In the cross pollination of ideas at the lunch counter, there is a freshness of talking and listening to someone and food seems to bring defenses down.
Have you ever had a lunch or supper meeting, a coffee latte and the hour flashes by at the speed of sound or forget to check the time and 2 hours have clipped along?
We’ve been developing a hot food lunch program for a school that we work in and what was noticed was that after 2 weeks, students who would normally head out to smoke are actually staying in the lunch room and are having conversations with each other and the staff during the lunch hour.
One student in another school sat down with me one day and began a conversation that has continued over the course of the school year.
One day, he said that he was thankful for having good food to eat and proceeded to say that since his parents split up, rare has there been the formal supper sit down in his home. He basically eats in front of the TV or computer screen so he’s been enjoying the lunch sit downs because as he says, he not only enjoys the camaraderie, there is something new he learns all the time. I think I learn as much if not more from these moments.
This student has been enjoying our lunch sit downs because as he says, he not only enjoys the camaraderie, there is something new he learns all the time. I think I learn as much if not more from these moments.
Have you ever been in a restaurant, coffee shop and noticed 2 people sitting at the same table but hardly throw 2 words together to or even at each other?
Or the dreaded cell phone has priority so talking is a foreign entity?
Sometimes, Kelly and I will actually go to the coffee shop just to change up things to spend time talking. Cutting out the distractions to be very intentional in connecting is so important in our crazy, up-tempo world. Some things no matter how much things ramp up still matter and meaningful connections still count in 2019.
Some things no matter how much things ramp up still matter and meaningful connections still count in 2019.
This isn’t new science or ideas: Eating alone at times can be alienating. The dinner table/supper out with friends can act as a unifier, a place of community. Sharing a meal is a great opportunity to catch up and talk, one of the few times where many people are content to put aside their work and take time out of their day.
The stats bare it out: it is rare that we North Americans grant ourselves pleasure over productivity (the average North American works nearly 220 hours more per year than the average French citizen).
In many countries, mealtime is treated as sacred. In France, for instance, while it is acceptable to eat by oneself, one should never rush a meal. A frenzied salad muncher on the metro invites dirty glares, and employees are given at least an hour for lunch.
In many Mexican cities, townspeople will eat together with friends and family in central areas like parks or town squares. In Cambodia, villagers spread out colorful mats and bring food to share with loved ones like a potluck.
In her book Eating Together, Alice Julier suggests that dining together can radically shift people’s perspectives: It reduces people’s perceptions of inequality, and diners tend to view those of different races, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds as more equal than they would in other social scenarios.
So, I Still Hate Coffee but I’d go to Starbucks with you because connection matters and one never knows the new experiences and learning moments that can come out of connection.
Turn the ringer off, make time to connect and food seems to really work so if you’re not a practitioner of taking time to meet over food, coffee etc, why not give it a chance? And for those of us who do, keep on keeping on!!!
Forward Friday Cheer!!!
Dave
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