I am struggling with this because there are so many emotions that have circled in my head in the past week regarding the senseless death of George Floyd and the subsequent, equal senseless rioting in US cities.
Part of me thought, “What do I say to this that already hasn’t been said, voiced, felt but I realized that my silence could mean a couple of things:
I am throwing up my hands saying what’s the use? This is how it is; things die down and then another incident occurs.
I live in Canada and we don’t have it like they have it re: Race Relations…
Most people don’t see color as the “Motto” is often used so we don’t need to say much up here.
But all of that isn’t true so because George Floyd can’t breathe any longer, maybe I want to breathe for his memory and for those that are afraid somewhere in the recesses of their hearts that they may be confronted one day with a potentially explosive situation such as George encountered that ended his life.
Maybe George Floyd can’t breathe any longer, maybe I want to breathe for his memory and for those that are afraid
I speak from the framework of being a black man in Canada, a pastor, a specialized counselor in the school system, a hockey player and referee, a black homeowner, the son of a black pastor/carpenter from Bermuda, a transplanted Canadian who married a biracial Montreal woman.
So first to George: it is unconscionable that in 2020, a black man would be restrained, knee on neck when it was clear that with 4 officers, George wasn’t about to go anywhere fast.
The fact that this officer had past numerous complaints, brought up on charges, not prosecuted at the time by a now Vice-Presidential hopeful then the county prosecutor, should have been at the very least relegated to desk duty because he obviously had a problem dealing with the public suspended, fired at best.
Before I hit up on the riots, there has been this slow simmer in us as black people that sits under the surface that when will it be our time to be discriminated against, our civic and personal rights infringed upon to the point of risking or losing our lives for the simple reason of being black?
Many of us have figured out ways to deal with those feelings but even though we won’t riot because that’s just plain stupid, there is another tear to our spirits when we see the death of another innocent man.
And yes, there are deaths of other kinds of all races every day but please don’t flip the page on this one because you need to know how much it hurts that again, it happens and it just seems to get uglier.
Even if George was guilty of a cheque cashing scheme, theft etc., there is due process to get that sorted out and this wasn’t a gun battle or extreme situation but now because of the deadly actions of a rogue officer(s), we now have not only a dead, innocent man but a crazy, unbridled situation in many cities across the US.
I am deeply troubled and saddened by the rioting that has taken place. Why? Because most of this rioting is misplaced, calculated anarchy, mayhem, theft and destruction of property.
There were many who came to protest in peace with a purpose but those with no care but to create chaos have burned down businesses, stolen, defaced and created another disaster that wasn’t necessary.
Change is necessary but to tear down people’s dreams, their life savings, homes, businesses in the guise of wanting social justice makes no sense.
Why? Most of the areas, especially in Minnesota were/are in predominantly black neighborhoods. So grocery stores, shops, homes gone up in smoke. And in this Covid era, life has been just made even harder for the very people the protesters/rioters say they are fighting for.
A black fire fighter had put all of his life savings in a bar that was set to open in June was burnt and leveled to the ground. Whether you like the premise of the bar is not important: They smoked his dream. Someone started a Go Fund me page and it looks like at some point, he’ll be able to rebuild. But they still burned it down.
The anarchists, the war mongers, the Hollywood/media stars who don’t care about the memory of George Floyd also don’t care about the lives of the black community they’re also destroying by the destruction they’re causing. Coming into these neighborhoods to destroy; The Elites donating money to get the thugs arrested for destruction out of jail easy.
There must be an order that comes back to these cities because the end result is that no progress will ensue if all we are doing is throwing bricks, Molotov cocktails, burning down buildings in the name of change.
We hear those with platforms actually inciting the violence which really makes me wonder where their heads are at. They don’t care…..
The police departments as a whole must decide if the “Thin Blue Line” should cover any longer the rogue officers that create problems, put targets on the backs of good officers.
There must be a mechanism in place that good officers who do a great job for their communities can call out their “Bad Seeds” in an anonymous way so these "Bad Blood" officers are rooted out and removed so that public confidence can come back to those that wear the Blue and Shield over time.
But things have to change so that even though the “Bad” moments are not as prevalent as they used to be, they must come to grinding halt because the perception is that we cannot trust those assigned and duly sworn to serve and protect us.
The “Bad” moments must come to grinding halt because the perception is that we cannot trust those assigned and duly sworn to serve and protect us.
Here is a clip from a police department that gets it in the middle of this mess.
My heart hurts because this death, the resulting rioting conjures up wounds, slights of the past and though I don’t dwell on them any longer, it’s like a replay that doesn’t come out of the record slot because I pulled it out; it just plays.
Things Like:
-At my first job at a downtown high school, because I wasn’t the white graduate from an Ivy college/university that the community was expecting, there was a concerted effort by some members of the school parent committee and a few well-placed staff who tried to get me fired for a number of baseless allegations. While one later apologized (many years later), if it wasn’t for my incredible, British Boss, I wouldn’t have been there for 10 years.
-Going to the bank numerous times to get a pre-approved mortgage only to be refused and never given a great reason for the why; thankfully, the secretary treasurer of our church district connected me to the right person and we were able to buy our home………..
-The many times I would go in to stores to purchase an item(s) and being told, “You can’t afford this?”, “you should go to that store.”
Going with my mom to buy and outfit their new duplex and being told that you can’t get what you want in this section then being redirected to the cheapest, second tier furniture, appliances they had. (By the way, we were able to get exactly what mom wanted in another store who were more than happy to do business with us)
I remember being hurt for my mom when we got back in the car and she asked why the salesman pushed such junk at us? I didn’t answer and I didn’t want to say what it clearly was.
-Walking into the Bay one Sunday after church after having gone home to change into casual clothes, and being followed by security all around the store. When I realized what was happening, I took a long tour of the store and walked into every department because if they were on the clock, they might as well be paid for every minute and square foot that they decided to follow me on. (Just one of many store moments)
-Walking into that very same store the following Sunday but this time, I didn’t go home and entered wearing my suit and being treated completely different. (Not planned; just how it happened) I actually had 3 clerks asking how could they help me and if I needed anything, they would be more than happy to help. Hmmmm.
-My dream of being a minister was fueled by my dad’s adventure to come to study in Canada.
After graduating, he trail-blazed meetings in Ontario and Quebec in the early 50’s, many times never being paid but walking with faith that his dream wasn’t a joke.
Coming back in the 60’s and always being a pulpit supply minister and fitting in wherever he could meet needs for others and doing a masterful job.
All the while knowing that his dream was to pastor his own church.
I watched 3 young black men go to Bible school (probably 5 years older than I was), graduate with flying colors but never getting so much as a sniff to come on staff anywhere and not be bitter about it. (These guys were heroes for their attitude in not being bitter, having spent so much money not to even get a chance)
That fueled me that if it was the Will of God for my life to become a minister, I would walk in the opportunity with open arms.
It came but not without its difficulties and struggles.
While I had a lot of ministry friends, I really had no black ministers who were like me; forging an identity in our denomination in our region of Canada to talk to, with, have some kindred spirit in blazing trails for those coming up behind that might say, That’s my dream too.
(Let me say that I have many male and female pastors/workers that I have had the privilege to work with, cry with, win with over my years as a minister and the above does not in any way diminish the good and great times shared over the years).
And yet, I missed not having that connection.
I am glad that one of my protégés/intern has created, along with 9 other young, strong, smart, intelligent, eloquent Christian black men something called “The House Of Common”.
See below for a link to their YouTube page where they talk about all subjects and while you may not like or agree with all of their takes or even be interested re: subjects talked about, it is worth seeing, even for a few minutes.
Well rounded, thoughtful and a place in Covid that they created and I only wish I had some guys who could of added to my life narrative like this at the time but we move forward.
But how could it be in the next stop that I had people actively trying to get me fired, banned from being part of the staff because I was black and because of a fight between high ranked members and the pastor, I became part of a pawn in a messy game?
That how could it be possible that a black man, capably qualified be hired over one of their own? We stayed a year past the conflict because we, Kelly and I felt it was the right thing to do and while we loved those we worked with and for, there was a hole that was created and there was unfortunately, this nagging feeling that something else could occur. And then….
Not on staff any longer but was still there… That it could be easy to be accused of being a potential swindler of people’s money when I never had access to funds or books etc but the accusation was leveled, we asked for and were denied the opportunity to face the accusers so it appeared that as long as an accusation was leveled, well then one can make their own conclusions with no counter balance weight.
Why is it that in the many church, conference arenas I and others have been involved in, when we ask that we be thought of in the how’s and what’s i.e.: music, content etc. so that there is relatability to the 20%, 30%, 40%, 50% of the congregation or attendees that are black, there are the platitudes that it is all thought out and this is where we are?
Doesn’t anyone notice that we are asking people in our churches to invest in the mission, vision of that church, the attendees, unless it is a free event (conferences) are paying money to go so doesn’t it seem like a logical thing to mirror something to these same people we say are valuable that would say, you matter even in this area of what we’re doing?
It seems sometimes like there is only one angle to look at life through when we would do so much more good if we altered our approach to include those that don’t look like us to help formulate part of the road map of where we are going? Just a thought…..
It would seem like a logical thing to mirror something to these same people we say are valuable that would say to them, you matter even in this area of what we’re doing?
I was at 2 leadership simulcast conferences in a 2 year span and 2 of the Black speakers that were featured were incredible, high energy and substance; one of the people I was at the conference with remarked in both conferences about these 2 speakers, “Wow, they speak with passion; you can see the sweat on their brow almost come through the screen”!
Which was code for, everything you guys do is exuberance and we like the meaty stuff.
Funny, the most profound and powerful thought provoking sessions that I still use today in my personal life almost 12 years later were from those 2 speakers. (And I do like the quiet ones too)
It matters that we take into consideration all the people we have in our assemblies and not just in the church market; small things have big dividends because intuitively, we feel that you care in the little areas that matter to us too!
I still play hockey regularly (have played since I was 5 yrs old) and am a federated Hockey Canada, Hockey Quebec referee for 6 plus years now. (I refereed in my 20’s)
I was refereeing a tournament game one evening last fall and after skating on to the ice, the captain of the one teams came over and asked, “Do you know the rules of hockey?” Once I came up for air, I said, “I guess we’ll find out after the first call I make!”
He didn’t say anything until the end when he shook my hand and said, “Good game.”
I don’t get as many women grabbing their purses in the grocery stores like it used to happen when they would see me coming up the aisle but it happened a few weeks ago.
I wanted to say that the white guy behind you was actually eyeing your purse and I only noticed you when you reacted. You should be concerned about him.
Being questioned numerous times at the border with stupid, ultra-inflammatory questions and because the goal was/is to get over, buy some stuff, going for a day drive or vacation, the questions get answered because there is a goal in mind but it still stinks..
Could I afford the rental car? Did you steal the rental car? How do I know you went to school to be able to afford the job you have to pay for this car? (Great deal-that’s why)
Sometimes, I get the stares and glares as Kelly and I are walking about or just living; the comments have not been said or thrown out as in the past but there are those glares. I should also add that some of those glares also come from blacks which aren’t any more helpful than other stares.
No one knows my story yet there is a premeditated conclusion as to the why so then there is a mistrust as to why are you with her?
Not that it bothers us because 24 years later, I’d say we’re locked in.
I write not so as to inflame but to help you see in my short story of 59 years, some of the obstacles, barriers that I’ve had to walk through and by and I’m only one of countless many.
I write because some young black men have said in the past that I don’t understand present realities because of some of my thinking and beliefs; actually I understand because some days and while not the majority of days, I have to face the reality that I am not just a Canadian/Bermudian with dual citizenship but I am Black in Canada.
It’s better than it was from years ago but it still presents itself and from time to time, I have to deal with this reality.
Because some days and while not the majority of days, I have to face the reality that I am not just a Canadian/Bermudian with dual citizenship but I am Black in Canada.
George, I just want to breathe and I wish you could have been taken to jail, the whole issue could have been cleared up there but it wasn’t.
Maybe telling some of my story of life in Canada as a black man may not help what is happening in the US right now but it could help sensitize people and those who read this see that the lens we look out from is not quite the same as others see. We don't want it to be that way yet it is.
I know George the rioting is not what you would have wanted and it is making a mockery of your death when we should be dealing with correcting the system where it needs fixing so your death is not only not in vain but we don’t have to see it again.
George, we are thankful we don’t have riots here in Canada but we are not clear of racist thinking and we must change and grow together for a better tomorrow.
Post Note: a “quote” peace Montreal march tonight ends up with looting and fires set so again, the memory of you, George is muffled as malcontents worm their way onto the scene.
George, I have some thoughts that this Forward Friday will have this week for people to start thinking and purposely wanting to become part of change or at the very least empathize about how life is not at all what they think it is for others and actively seek to be part of the solution in deed with more than just words.
But for today George, I just want to breathe.
I wish you could too…
Dave
#MotivationalMonday #IWantToBreathe #GeorgeFLoyd #Covid #Quarantine2020 #Lenses #Blog #Speaker #MustBeDifferent #JustListen #TimeToChange #ICantBreathe
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