As we move into the Easter season, many people will sacrifice something and generally, it is some form of fasting of something that they normally will do, eat, are fond of, special activity etc. It is not the only way (fasting) but the vast majority of people will do some sort of a fast. It is a way of reconciling/reuniting oneself in the Christian faith to God leading up to the celebration of Easter. In fact, the world turns its attention to Easter whether one is a believer or not because this time has significance.
I thought of another way and that is to show gratitude in some different areas of my life every week right through Easter weekend. Maybe it’s because my mom recently passed away and I find myself being nostalgic but this speaks to me.
Maybe it’s because my mom recently passed away and I find myself being nostalgic but this speaks to me.
I remember the morning in January 2004, being in a hotel room in Toronto, about to speak at a college that was in the midst of a crisis. The pressure was great but I was excited to have the opportunity to speak and share with the student and staff body during this harrowing time of change for them.
That Tuesday morning as I stood in front of the mirror, trying to get ready, the buckle on my jeans was giving me trouble. You see, I had always dealt with weight issues from a young age and at this time, I had ballooned up to 275 lbs. I would fool myself and tell myself that I wasn’t that big or other people had bigger problems than I did.
I would fool myself and tell myself that I wasn’t that big or other people had bigger problems than I did.
In fact, the previous summer while down in Florida, I was watching this late night infomercial of men and women who were making transformations by losing weight and getting fit, yet here I was watching them at 1 am in the morning, drinking Coke and Doritos saying, good for them…
So here I am looking back at me in that mirror when it hit me, “This doesn’t make sense, I’m going to speak to people who have more knowledge, intellect in their fingers than I have in my head and I can’t buckle my pants!”
Finally buckled them and spent 2 amazing days in Toronto with that college that I’ll be forever grateful for it was a turning point in my journey to become healthy.
Over the course of 2 years, there was a huge change in reordering my mind and thinking about food, the triggers that caused me to gain the weight I did and why I did what I would do when it came to food.
I was bulimic growing up and much of it stemmed from the traumatic experience when I was a little boy but didn’t know it then. It later translated into food being a mask for pain and any other things that caused me discomfort, hence the weight gain and not being able to identify and deal with the core issues for a long time.
It later translated into food being a mask for pain and any other things that caused me discomfort, hence the weight gain and not being able to identify and deal with the core issues for a long time.
So over those 2 years, I lost 50 lbs and made huge strides in gaining control over what and how much I was eating.
Have you ever had one of those moments where you reach a threshold and can’t wait but tell the world somehow?
Have you ever had one of those moments where you reach a threshold and can’t wait but tell the world somehow? I had one of those in a TJ Maxx in Florida in 2005 when I was able to fit into regular men’s clothes. The only thing was, I was in a dressing room when I got overly exuberant and my wife had to knock on the door to tell me to slow down because everyone could hear me!! I don’t think I cared much, even if the jeans were ugly; they fit and that’s what mattered at the time and no, I didn’t buy them but…… it was exciting…the men’s regular section!
Over the course of the next 7 years, I hovered around 220 lbs, never breaking the ceiling or floor, depending on how you look at it until another breakthrough came from getting some intel on adjusting some food intake from a friend who tried something different.
I got down to 195 lbs which was my goal and pretty much stayed there until some sports injuries crept in recently in the past 2 ½ years.
Why am I grateful, especially now when over the past 2 years, I’ve gained a few pounds because of the injuries which has made a lot of my workout regimens hard to do etc.?
Because if I was the old Dave with the old mindset, the former way of thinking, these moments could have become a train wreck of a situation weight wise, psychologically, emotionally etc.
Because if I was the old Dave with the old mindset, the former way of thinking, these moments could have become a train wreck of a situation weight wise, psychologically, emotionally etc.
I think of how grateful I am that when I could get stuck, I think of a verse in the book of James which says paraphrased, If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father or ask our generous Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended, patronized, humiliated, looked down on when you ask for it.
It’s quite something to realize that everything about our life matters, including our bodies. After all, it houses us for our journey here on earth and this week as I thought about what I wanted to do for Lent or the 40 days leading up to Easter weekend, I decided that Gratefulness was/is to be my way of saying how thankful I am that I had an epiphany 15 years ago that changed my life in an incredible way.
There are patterns and disciplines that have come into play in my life that help when there are bumps in the road when it comes to my weight and how I perceive myself that pre 2004 was not there.
For those of you who struggle with your weight, whether it be trying to lose or issues that manifest itself into eating like disorders, don’t give up hope in the struggle.
Don’t let feeling like you’re a loser make you believe that you are that because you are not. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh look at where you are at and taking the step to try some things that may be foreign to you.
It could be like I did when I first started on the way to a new me, have a small group of “Like” strugglers and commit to helping each other work our way through to change. It worked; 2 of us stayed with it!
Get some professional help; it’s amazing how getting perspective from someone who has a track record of helping people can make a difference.
Pray for help and guidance. It does really matter and it helps to know that God is interested in every aspect of our life.
So, while I’m further ahead than where I was 15 years ago, there will always be the struggle; the old pictures in my mind of what I used to look like, how I used to think, what I used to do but then I stop and realize that those moments are not who the real Dave is now and becoming.
I’m thankful because I’m liking this version a whole lot more than the previous Dave; I am Grateful!!!
Dave
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