Reposted for January's Bell Let's Talk.
So we woke up to the news this morning that Anthony Bourdain, famed chef and traveler apparently took his own life. This bookends the earlier story this week that Kate Spade, fashion designer extraordinaire also took her own life. I have to say that I was in shock this morning as I would regularly watch Bourdain's travels and usually say, "you're a braver man than I" to eat the delicacies of the places he'd visit but it was breaking into the stories behind the places he went to that were fascinating.
I never bought anything for Kelly at Kate Spade because, well because....
I never bought anything for Kelly at Kate Spade because, well because..... But Kate obviously had talent and a knack for her craft as evidenced by her brands appeal. But a dark hole is a dark hole and it hurts my heart to think of the pain they, like so many others live through and sometimes, feel there is only one way out.
I know because I lived in that dark hole for a long time.
Sometimes, the dark hole comes because of what someone or something had/has done to us and the dark hole manifests itself from there, sometimes it's a condition or sometimes, we just don't know and yet it comes. Sometimes, there are no simple Wikipedia answers... Sometimes, shame becomes us so who wants to say that we only see one color and that color is dark, damp and dingy and it's more than claustrophobic at the best and worst of times?
Who wants to admit that? And sometimes, we can't even explain it to ourselves much less anyone else...
I remember when Robin Williams died, while some could see the pain he lived in, so many said, "He made the world laugh", "how could this be?"I used to live in the conundrum; helping people feel good about themselves and trying to do my best to put others first but having disturbing, dark hole moments that would threaten to overrun me.
I know that it was God that kept me together through my dark storms until I was able to receive what I needed to turn a corner.
I know that it was God that kept me together through my dark storms until I was able to receive what I needed to turn a corner. It also was a caring Police officer that, over 2 summers at a Youth Camp in Ontario would seek me out because he knew that beyond the laughter and front view and facade, was a deeply troubled young man desperate to find answers to the dark hole. It was much later that the answers came and while he couldn't answer what I didn't even know at the time, he decided to step in and bring some comfort.
I decided that it was time to start telling my story today because while the world sees the famous who couldn't get out of the black hole so to speak, there are many others daily living in that same darkness who need a helping hand, a safe place to land, to know they are not alone, not a freak, not weird, not a scourge on society, not a burden.
Maybe because in the past, when I did tell my story and many have been helped by it, it brought with telling it ridicule, shaming, scorn, the loss of friendships, job possibilities etc but I don't have anything to lose any longer (and in some respects, I never had anything to lose then either) and if I can help be a part of a solution for even one person in a small way, well then, it's worth not being afraid of anything or anybody because...
well because people matter.
So in the coming weeks, I'm going to begin to unpack my journey, my story and tell it because the dark hole is just like the trap house; it's designed to make one think once they're in, they've got no way out so you've got to live in it but... there is..... I know; I got out.
If you are living or feel like you are living in a dark place, please take a chance to tell someone... start somewhere even if it feels weird.
If you are living or feel like you are living in a dark place, please take a chance to tell someone... start somewhere even if it feels weird. I was about to say society but we should bring it home to ourselves that even though life hustles us and social media makes us feel like we're so connected when we may not be as much as we think or believe we are, reaching out and trying to make meaningful connections could be all the difference for someone because we did try and connect; we did go an extra mile to say hey; we did take time for that coffee we're usually too busy to have; we made a call or sent a text or wrote a note (imagine that?!!!)because it matters... It really does... My heart not only aches for Anthony's, Kate's, Robin's families and friends but the countless other families who have had to endure what they are experiencing.
You may be living or feel like you are in the black hole; believe it or not, there are other colors too... It seems hard to believe but there are.....
You may be living or feel like you are in the black hole; believe it or not, there are other colors too... It seems hard to believe but there are.....It's Just Time To Tell My Story....
Dave
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