“So Dave, you know that we need to hustle and grow our ideas; we can’t just sit idle with the dreams we have!”
Isn’t it an amazing thing when we can speak a truth to someone but how about when the role is reversed and something we need to hear is spoken or delivered to us?
So it was a couple of days ago that a colleague and I were talking about dreams, skills that we have and that we need to continually grow them and when he said what he did, a little bit later, I had to admit to myself that for one of my skills, I’ve kind of left it alone for a bit.
It seems as though for many, when it comes to “Iron Sharpening Iron”, we like it when we are the ones with the sharpener but when the table is turned, flipped or switched back in our direction, then it becomes a different story.
When it comes to “Iron Sharpening Iron”, we like it when we are the ones with the sharpener..
One of my favorite sportscasters is Pierre McGuire. He is presently a hockey analyst NBC sports, a contributor to TSN in Canada and also was a head coach, assistant coach and scout in the National Hockey league.
One of his most memorable conversations I had the privilege to listen to one day was talking about leadership and more importantly, the challenge of being challenged.
Now before we get ahead of the game, I’m not talking about aggressive, rough, disrespectful challenge; I’m talking about the ability to be in relationships of all kinds where objective, thoughtful dialogue happens and discourse is allowed.
So, in the interview, he said essentially that “if we only have people who agree with everything we say and do, then we are not a team, what we have is likened to a dictatorship.”
Ouch……….
Maybe that is why the book of Proverbs has this little nugget of a spiritual, interpersonal nature verse.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
This lends itself to not only friendships, marriages, family relationships but also in the business, corporate, educational realms.
Have you ever been in a place where the boss is always right, never has time to listen to any ideas or when they come up with the new idea of the day that was just as bad as the bad idea from the week before, the slightest hint of conjecture can set off unreasonable fireworks.
McGuire says that anybody can agree but if we want to see greater success in the many areas of life that we are in, we need to either be risk takers to suggest some alternate ideas or be the ones to entertain the thought (God forbid) that we don’t have to be the smartest one in the room.
Maybe there is another way to look at the picture, whatever that “picture” may be.
Sometimes, if we are on the receiving end of some idea, suggestion, query, truth issue moment, instead of answering quickly, dismissing something outright, it might be prudent to take some time to mull over what we heard.
Maybe at the end of it, we may still move in the direction we originally thought of going in but it doesn’t hurt to have some healthy dissent from time to time.
Could it be that it’s our unwillingness to recognize that we need people in our lives to help us get better, so it makes it harder to deal with the challenges from those very same people?
I worked for a boss in a department store years ago and in 1 year, put our department across the Canadian eastern seaboard in debt over $1 million.
Drove us all crazy because if we had been listened to, the problems we had to deal with as a department wouldn’t have happened.
The boss who came in right after had a completely different approach and in under 18 months, the department in the same regions became solvent and in the black.
Maybe it’s a pride thing because if we can dispense help but kind of veer away when it comes our way, it could be pride that keeps us from learning something that we may have not seen or known.
If we can dispense help but kind of veer away when it comes our way, it could be pride that keeps us from learning.
I call them the not so nice minions (troublesome blind spots) of the heart, soul and spirit that can hold us up when we shrink back from the challenge of being challenged. Self-centeredness, Hard-heartedness, Indifference, Resentment and sometimes we can even boil into Rage.
I once was interviewing for a job and the interview for the most part went well.
I asked if I could ask a question.
I said, “If you (speaking of the leader) were going to do something that I didn’t agree with and voiced those thoughts and offered another way or idea, could you handle it?”
I went on to say that if, at the end of it all, that decision would stand, when we left the room, I would back that decision publicly so there would be no slighting or rug pulling from me.
The answer I got was to the effect of how could you not agree with any decision I would make?
You can be assured that the job offer was rescinded the next day but I wouldn’t have taken it based on the reaction to such a simple upfront question.
While not always successful, we have tried to live a motto of empowering people around us and sometimes, it may mean that those same people will have to challenge something we are doing, thinking of doing, or not thinking of doing etc.
It could be our spouse, family member, co-worker, friend etc. but when the challenge does come, how are you and I going to react?
Some relationships, business, personal and otherwise have been irrevocably broken and damaged because pride and those little “minion” type attitudes reared their heads and it was, “You won’t tell me” and damage occurred.
So a few things: if we feel there is a moment where we must challenge, no matter who or where, what and why, just remember that how you want to be treated is the way we should talk and treat the one we are transmitting a thought to.
If we are on the receiving end of a challenge idea, thought etc., instead of reacting, go away and mull on it. Not everything that comes our way needs to be implemented or taken as gospel but it does not hurt to give some thought to what gets presented to us.
Maybe something said, something we are encouraged to give thought to could actually be a great game changer or at the very least a positive step in the right direction but if we put the hand up and say no, I’m not even listening, we may miss out on something that might truly be good for us.
So this week, I have been sick and I hadn’t felt like that for a long time.
A person walked by the office I was in and when he heard how I sounded, he made a comment that caught my attention.
What you should know is that based on many interactions with myself and other colleagues over the years, well, he and I wouldn’t be going to any hockey games together.
But as I was driving home early to go to bed to try and feel better, what he said came back to me and I knew that I needed to pay attention and do something positive with what I heard.
And I did… and I’m starting to feel better.
Which gave rise to the fact that we can learn from anyone, anywhere, anytime but we control our learning and how it plays out in our life.
Oh, the challenge of being challenged!
When we are the iron, let’s not be know it all Jack and when we are the steel to be sharpened, those “Minions” can’t always be winning.
For growth and change
Dave
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