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  • Writer's pictureMillsman

We Are Not Alone…Battling With Depression.. Motivational Monday Thoughts


Last week was World Suicide Prevention week awareness, and a prominent worker, speaker, advocate for those battling depression and suicidal thoughts could not cope any longer and ended his life tragically.

It made me realize again how important it is to not take anything for granted. Life is so precious!!

You could be reading this, struggling to cope or maybe you are looking for some helpful ideas which is a good thing. We may not be able to see the illness, but it doesn’t mean that we’re powerless to help.


While we would hope/love for those who are struggling with mental illness or are even to the point of doing harm to themselves tell us or someone, it is also important that we as family, friends, co-workers also be aware of some of the tell tale signs of someone who could be in distress.


We are a human mutual mosaic!!!

Here are some ideas that could be of use in the future.



Speak Up if We’re Concerned

Talking to a friend or family member about their thoughts and feelings can be extremely difficult for anyone. But if you’re unsure whether someone is struggling, the best way to find out is to ask.

We can’t make a person worse by showing that we care.

In fact, giving that person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness and pent-up negative feelings, and may prevent a serious episode.


Ways to start a conversation:

“I have been feeling concerned about you lately.”

“Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.”

“I wanted to check in with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately.”


Questions you can ask:

“When did you begin feeling like this?”

“Did something happen to make you start feeling this way?”

“How can I best support you right now?”

“Have you thought about getting help?”


What you can say that helps:

“You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.”

“You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.”

“I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”

“When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage.”


When Talking To A Person Who Is Struggling Mentally



Do:

Be yourself. Let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone. The right words are often unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.

Listen. Let the person be able to unload despair, vent anger. No matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that it is taking place is a positive sign.

Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, accepting. Your friend or family member is doing the right thing by talking about his/her feelings.

Offer hope. Reassure the person that help is available and that the feelings are temporary. Let the person know that his or her life is important to you.

Take the person seriously. If the person says things like, “I’m so depressed, I can’t go on,” ask the question: “Are you having thoughts of doing something to yourself?” You are not putting ideas in their head; you are showing that you are concerned, that you take them seriously, and that it’s OK for them to share their pain with you.


But don’t:

Argue with the person. Avoid saying things like: “You have so much to live for" or “Look on the bright side.”

Act shocked, lecture on the value of life, or say that whatever they are thinking is wrong.

Promise confidentiality. Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep that person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word.

Offer ways to fix their problems, or give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend or loved one.

Blame yourself. You can’t “fix” someone’s depression. That person's happiness, or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.


We Are Not Alone..

Dave



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